


The Untouched Isle

by TAFKAmayle



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anal Sex, Dinosaurs, M/M, Masturbation, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, PTSD, Ryan Haywood Being an Idiot, Survival, Tattoos, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:34:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 33,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24838510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TAFKAmayle/pseuds/TAFKAmayle
Summary: The FAHC yacht crashes while Ryan, AKA Vagabond is meant to be watching. The island they land on is filled with extinct creatures and Ryan must use his random knowledge to help them survive and (maybe) get home. All while trying not to be the biggest creep who has no internet to distract him from his Battle Buddy’s attractiveness.TW: This fic contains a Ryan Haywood character.Dedicated to my boyfriend/Executive Producer and my patron saint J, both of whom like Ark: Survival Evolved which this setting is vaguely based on.
Comments: 198
Kudos: 134





	1. Chapter 1

Jeremy was the first to wake up after Ryan. He wandered up from below deck with no shirt on because he was allergic to not showing off his cut body. He looked around groggily, rubbing at his eyes. He frowned as he came up to where Ryan was standing at the bow of the boat.

“Where the hell are we?” He grunted, ruffling his purple hair, “Did we sail to Hawaii?”

He looked at Ryan with his adorably sleepy brown eyes. Ryan pointed down at the beach in answer. Jeremy squinted down where he was pointing.

“Is that...is that a dodo?” He muttered, “Aren’t they-?”

He interrupted himself as another creature caught both of their attention.

“What the fuck?!” He hissed.

Ryan nodded in response. He’d been there observing for an hour already. 

“That’s a...it cant be,” Jeremy murmured under his breath, “That’s a fucking dinosaur.”

Ryan nodded again. It was a utahraptor, if his memory served him right, which he _really_ hoped it didn’t. He pointed further into the forest where a pteranodon was swooping in and out of the trees. Jeremy stared, mouth open in shock. 

“Why didn’t you wake anyone?!” He whisper-shouted at him.

Ryan rolled his eyes. 

“I’m serious, V!” Jeremy snapped, gripping his arm, “What if one of them attacked you?”

_He’s touching me._ Ryan blushed. He unholstered his handgun and held it up. Jeremy opened his mouth to argue, but just huffed and threw his hands up. He hurried below deck to gather the others while Ryan went back to observing. 

The truth was he was too nervous to wake them up. Other than being socially inept, he also still felt like an outsider. An outsider that was _supposed_ to be keeping an eye on things who fell asleep. 

The crash hadn’t even woke him up. Honestly, it looked more like a soft landing than anything else. They’d just sort of pushed partway onto the beach. None of the creatures seemed bothered by their presence so far, just walking around the boat. For the most part, it was almost like they weren’t even there.

“What’s goin’ on?” Geoff grumbled tiredly. 

Ryan moved aside as Jeremy pushed the others up to the railing. There was a moment of silence and then-

_“Ohmygoodness!”_ Gavin squawked, “Lookit the lil’ dodos!”

Michael had to grab his shirt to stop him from going over the railing.

“Micool!” He wailed, “I wanna pet a dodo!”

“Are you insane?!” Michael hissed, “We’re in fucking dinotopia right now! Don’t touch shit! Especially not the Pizza Hut appetizers!”

Gavin huffed, pouting at him. 

“So...let’s get the fuck out of here,” Jack suggested loudly.

Ryan made a tiny noise of protest that no one heard. _But...dinosaurs..._

“Guys, maybe we should hold off?” Jeremy suggested, “I mean, it’s fucking dinosaurs.”

Ryan grinned under the mask. 

“Solid point,” Geoff grunted.

“Follow up,” Jack spoke again, “How about we not let the last haven for dinosaurs become a tourist attraction?”

“I’m with Jack on this,” Michael chimed in, “It’s better we don’t fuck with the peace of the island.”

“But we can surely take a look, right?” Jeremy offered, “I mean, leave it as we found it, but take a peek?”

“Shouldn’t we be considering the science or whatever?” Geoff muttered, “We can’t just ignore the place.”

Ryan glanced at where Gavin was petting a dodo. _Does no one notice him right now?_ The other four were bickering now while Ryan crept over the edge of the railing to join him. He was feeding it berries now. Where the hell had the berries come from? Ryan crouched down next to him, glancing nervously at the tree-line.

“V, look!” He squeaked, “It likes me now!”

The bird nestled into Gavin’s lap to take a nap. He covered his mouth to avoid squealing excitedly. He grinned up at Ryan. Ryan smiled fondly back at him and ruffled his already wild, golden-brown hair. He could be such a kid sometimes. Ryan held out his hand for the berries. Gavin dropped the fistful he had onto Ryan’s palm. 

Ryan rolled them around. They looked sort of like blueberries, but were black in color. He didn’t recognize them. Some species that had gone extinct like the dodo? 

“Why’s this place here?” Gavin muttered, petting the dodo’s head, “How’d they survive?”

Ryan glanced around at the island. _Excellent question._ It was so cut off, yet the island was fairly large. The ecosystem looked undisturbed. It must’ve been working in perfect balance since long before humans. He looked back at the dodo in Gavin’s lap. Michael and Jack were right, they shouldn’t be there. 

“V, do you think...they’ll miss me?” Gavin mumbled.

He looked up at Ryan with his big green eyes wide and innocent. Ryan swallowed nervously. _Oh god._ Like telling a child their goldfish died. He was not ready for this. _Geoff, Geoff! Get over here! Dad is needed! Help!_

“Gavin! What the hell did I say?!” Michael shouted, storming over, “Get that disease-carrier off your dick!”

Gavin pouted.

“But it likes me, boi!” He protested, “I’m its friend now!”

“And you’re no help!” Michael snapped at Ryan.

Ryan stood up, dropping the berries. _It’s true, but...dinosaurs._

“I-I mean...whatever,” Michael muttered.

He swallowed, glancing nervously at Ryan before returning focus to Gavin. _Is he still fucking scared of me?! Damnit!_ The others joined them down on the beach.

“Bad news, boys,” Jeremy grunted, crossing his arms.

_What, all of your shirts have mysteriously vanished?_

“No gas,” Jack muttered.

Ryan felt a sinking feeling in his guts. _Well, that’s not good. **And** it’s my fault._

“Who the hell let us crash??” Geoff demanded.

Ryan’s chest felt tight as he raised his hand. Geoff glanced nervously at him. _Don’t...don’t tell me he’s also still scared of me!_ The others all shifted anxiously. _They all are. They’re all still scared of me._ He dropped his hand. 

_Of course...I mean, I’m big and I wear a fucking skull mask 60% of the time and a cloth one the other 40%. And I have resting bitch eyes. No fucking duh they’re scared of me!_

“Geoff, what are we gonna do?” Gavin asked, interrupting Ryan’s spiral, “No offense to this pretty island, but I don’t think it has fuel for the boat.”

“Uh, right,” Geoff muttered, “Well, Jack, what can we do?”

“Nothing really,” Jack admitted, “Aside from building a manual boat or finding a way to turn this thing into a manual. Not likely on that front.”

“And we have no communications,” Jeremy chimed in, “We’re stuck in the fucking Bermuda Triangle. Building a legitimate ship is our best bet.”

“Does anyone know how?” Geoff asked, glancing around at them.

Ryan raised his hand again and everyone looked at him in surprise. He blushed, eyes darting away. He had a lot of random skills and information that were usually useless. 

“Good, the fucking mute is our boat expert,” Michael grumbled.

_I’m not mute,_ Ryan couldn’t make himself say even though he opened his mouth to try.

“Well then, Vagabond,” Jack grunted, “You need to start making plans. There should be plenty of pen and paper on the boat. Give us an estimate of our timeframe. The rest of us should start by inventorying our supplies.”

_You don’t make shop plans with a pen, but okay._

“No one wanders off without their buddy,” Geoff announced, “Gavin, Michael. Vagabond, Jeremy. Me, Jack. And don’t go shitting in the woods just yet. The toilets should still function and I swear to Christ if anyone gets poison ivy on their ass they live in the woods from then on.”

Ryan really, _really_ hoped there wasn’t a lot of poison ivy about. Gavin excitedly bounced on Michael, demanding they go see the dinosaurs while Michael told him to eat dicks. Jeremy approached Ryan and gave him a little wave.

“Hey, I guess I’ll be your personal assistant,” he laughed, sounding a bit nervous, “Just tell me what you need.”

_I need you to put on a fucking shirt._ They climbed back on board the boat to start their plans. Jeremy ran around gathering paper and other supplies for Ryan’s blueprints. He was doing a lot of looking over his shoulder as well. 

“Where’d you learn this?” He asked.

_My father._

“Did your dad teach you?” Jeremy pressed.

Ryan looked at him sharply. _How did you guess that?_ Jeremy shrunk away about.

“S-sorry, too personal?” He mumbled.

Ryan shook his head. 

“So then...it was your dad?” Jeremy prompted.

Ryan nodded returning to working. 

“Have you actually built one before?”

Ryan nodded.

“Whoa, cool!” Jeremy exclaimed, “You’re like an actual ship-builder. We’re lucky to have you. Do you know yet how long it’s gonna be?”

Ryan nodded. He held up five fingers.

“Five weeks?” 

He shook his head.

“Five months?”

He nodded.

“Well, fuck,” Jeremy muttered, “We’re gonna be here awhile, huh?”

Ryan nodded. _And that’s if we can even find all the supplies we’ll need._ He sighed, rubbing at the soreness forming in his hunched shoulders. He jumped in surprise as Jeremy’s hands were suddenly on him. 

“Sorry, too much?” Jeremy mumbled nervously, “I give really good massages. Should I back off?”

Ryan hesitated before he shook his head. He was blushed furiously. _Touching. He’s touching me._

“Well, can you take your jacket off?” Jeremy requested, “It’ll make it better.”

Ryan again hesitated before he shrugged his jacket off. That was one less layer of armor against the cruelties of the world. Jeremy’s hands returned to his shoulders. _He’s really touching me now._ Ryan bit his lip as he started easing tension out of his muscles. _He is really touching me and damn, it feels good._

“You got nice shoulders, V,” Jeremy commented lightly, “Broad.”

Ryan blushed again. He wasn’t used to any level of care or compliment from people. It was...weird. But nice. When Jeremy was done, Ryan felt like he’d melted. He groaned contentedly as he relaxed against his chair.

“Glad to help,” Jeremy laughed.

Ryan tilted his head back to smile up at him. 

“Are you...smiling?” Jeremy murmured, brow furrowing.

_Fuck._ Ryan tipped his head back and leaned forward to go back to work. 

“Sorry,” Jeremy muttered under his breath.

He walked away and Ryan opened his mouth. _Wait, please. I didn’t...I just...I can’t..._ No words came out of his useless mouth. He dropped his head into his hands, elbows on the table. _I don’t...I can’t let you see me being happy. I’m sorry._

~

“Okay, everyone,” Geoff announced as they all sat in the dining area, “So, we have enough supplies to last a couple weeks. According to Vagabond, we need at least five months.”

The crew glanced at each other nervously. 

“So we need to start hunting and gathering like survivors,” He went on, “We need to keep our longer shelf life stuff for emergencies. We need to be fishing and hunting. We have a few fishing poles, who knows how to fish properly?”

Jack, Ryan, and Michael raised their hands.

“Great, who’s hunted before?” He asked next.

Jeremy and Ryan raised their hands.

“How about forging?”

Ryan raised his hand.

“And who knows a lot about dinosaurs?” 

Gavin nearly rocketed out of his seat to put his hand up while Jack raised her hand and Ryan hesitated to put his up. _Define “a lot”._

“Vagabond what the hell are you?” Michael grunted, “You’re like a survivalist guy or something.”

Ryan blushed, looking away from them. _My father knew a lot of this stuff._

“Alright, so all questions are to be taken up with Vagabond,” Geoff snorted, “Vagabond, Gavin, and Jack are our scholars. Jeremy, Michael, and I are the fighters. We’ll loosely stick with our buddy system, but always make sure a scholar and a fighter are together. Just like back home, you don’t send the expert in without a guard to watch their back, right?”

They all nodded understanding. 

“And Vagabond is our most valuable asset,” He added, “We keep him protected at all costs or we’re not gonna survive or get the hell out of here.”

“So again, just like back home?” Jack joked.

Ryan tried not to squirm under their inquisitive stares. He didn’t feel like he was all that valuable and the idea of the others protecting him made him uneasy. 

“Not like he needs our protection,” Jeremy scoffed.

“You’re not wrong,” Geoff admitted, “So let me rephrase: no one piss off the survival guy. We need him to like us.”

Ryan laughed. The crew stared at him with wide eyes and open mouths. His own mouth snapped shut. _Fuck._

“Anyway, shall we retire?” Jeremy suggested, drawing everyone’s attention, “I have a feeling tomorrow’s gonna be a long day.”

They dispersed and Ryan let out a quiet sigh. _Of course they’re still scared of me. I don’t want people to know when I’m happy, but I still get upset when they’re scared._ He got up and shuffled off toward his room. He was tired. The mask felt particularly heavy that day.


	2. Chapter 2

Jeremy frowned at the list. Ryan felt bad, but he couldn’t help. He was helping with fishing. Jeremy looked up at him.

“Are you sure we have all this?” He grunted.

Ryan shook his head.

“I see, I’m just supposed to look,” Jeremy muttered, “What are we gonna do if we don’t have it?”

Ryan shrugged. _We’ll make do._ Jeremy sighed.

“Alright, guess it’s boat duty for me,” he grumbled.

Ryan ruffled his hair with a little smile. _Hang in there._ Then he headed to where Michael was waiting for him and they gathered their stuff to go fishing. 

“Ready, buddy?” Michael called.

Ryan nodded sharply. They climbed down from the boat and made their way to a rock outcrop near the water. They’d spotted it from the boat and decided it was the best place within range to fish safely. As Michael set stuff down, Ryan went to the edge to peek in the water. 

_ Shit. _

“Yo, what’s up?” Michael grunted, “Why’d you freeze up?”

Ryan pointed in the water. Michael looked.

“Those are some giant fucking fish,” Michael snorted.

Coelacanth and sabertooth salmon were the ones Ryan could see. He was angry with himself. Of course they were more extinct species like the dodos and the dinos. He should’ve expected this. 

“We’re not getting those on a fishing pole,” Michael scoffed, “So...now what?”

Ryan pulled out a knife and flicked it open. 

“Wait, you’re not just gonna jump in, are you?” Michael questioned.

Ryan shook his head. He held up his other fist, separate from the one with the knife and made a stabbing motion.

“Oh, you want to make spears?” Michael guessed.

Ryan nodded. They gathered up their stuff to take back to the boat. 

“Should we check around for any brooms or shit like that or just go straight for tree branches?” Michael grumbled.

Ryan held up two fingers. Better keep our supplies in tact. Never know when we’ll need something for the boat.

“Alright, I’ll make sure Geoff knows where we went.”

Ryan gave him a thumbs up. He looked down at his jacket. _Should I take it off? I don’t want to ruin it, just in case it gets unbearably cold at some point._ He never went anywhere without it though.

Besides, it was better to be covered when going into the woods. What if there was poison ivy? He tugged at the edge nervously. He really didn’t want to blow up like a pufferfish in front of the others.

“Hey, V, what’s up?” Gavin greeted him.

Ryan waved at him as he came over. He was carrying a dodo while another walked behind him. Ryan had wanted to kill the dodos for food, but Gavin had given him the biggest doe eyes and begged him not to. Ryan pet the dodos head and it made a little chirping sort of noise.

“Aren’t you fishing today?” Gavin asked.

Ryan nodded. 

“Hey, I wanna know what fish there are!” Gavin chirped, sounding almost identical to the dodo, “So be sure to get as many different ones as you can!”

Ryan smiled fondly and ruffled his wild hair. _You got it, buddy._

“Gavin! What the fuck did I say about the disease carriers?!” Michael shouted as he stormed over, “Get those things off the fucking boat.”

The one on the ground went to Michael and poked at his shin.

“Get away from me, before I turn you into a bucket meal!” He hissed, nudging it away.

“Micool~!” Gavin whined.

“No, get them out!” Michael snapped, then turned to Ryan, “And _you!_ Stop fucking encouraging him!”

_What did **I** do?? _Ryan huffed, crossing his arms and looking away.

“Aw, you made him pout, boi!” Gavin huffed, “We’re supposed to be nice to Vagabond!”

Ryan blushed. _I was not pouting!_ He pouted.

“Then maybe don’t say he’s fucking pouting, ya dumbass,” Michael grumbled, “Get those Kentucky fried fucks off the boat!”

Gavin grumbled as he climbed off the boat with the two dodos in tow. Michael sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“This fucking moron is gonna get sick,” He mumbled, “Then there’s gonna be a whole fucking thing and he’s gonna lose a leg or some shit. Anyway, let’s go. Geoff said to try to stay near the beach, we also get some duct tape and Lil’ J had a hatchet. For some fucking reason.”

_Jeremy is scary is the reason._ Michael lifted the roll of tape which Ryan took, nodding and they headed to the tree line. Michael found a branch and hacked it off with the hatchet while Ryan used his Bowie knife. Ryan’s head was on a swivel, as was Michael’s and they quickly retreated from the trees as soon as they had their branches. Neither was all that eager to discover what lay beyond their eyeline.

After they got the makeshift spears put together, they were back at the water’s edge. Ryan watched the fish swimming back and forth. It looked like the salmon traveled in schools. The coelacanth seemed rather slow and dumb. Easier to catch, but if Ryan remembered right, they weren’t very good for humans to eat. Well, they could catch a few to try. 

“Which ones do we go for?” Michael asked, crouching down next to him.

Ryan held up two fingers.

“Both?”

Ryan nodded. _Gavin wants to see both._

“Okay, let’s do it, I guess,” Michael grunted.

Ryan’s first shot was more of a test to see how distorted the water made the fish seem. The second speared through a coelacanth. He missed the heart or brain, but he quickly pulled it up and finished the job. The next he hit through the heart. 

He tried for one of the salmon next and noted how they scattered when the spear came toward them. They were fast and definitely needed to be hit on the first try, which he thankfully succeeded in doing. He turned to see if Michael was doing okay to see Michael was staring at him, his hazel eyes wide in awe. Ryan jolted in surprise.

“V! You’re really good at this!” He exclaimed.

Ryan blushed and shook his head. Michael grabbed his arm. _He’s touching me._

“You are!” He insisted, “Teach me!”

Ryan only blushed worse, but nodded, shuffling closer to help him learn to hold the spear correctly. He managed to gesture enough to convey the need to figure out distortion and after a couple tries, Michael hit one of the coelacanth. Ryan showed him how to put more force behind it and he tried again, successfully spearing one. He grinned brightly at Ryan who smiled back and ruffled his beanie over his curly hair. _Good job, buddy._

They caught a couple more before calling it enough and heading to the boat. They didn’t need a lot, considering how fucking massive they were. Michael moved on to his next task while Ryan went to the kitchen to clean the fish. 

Ryan recalled learning about preparing fish with his father. Survivalist isn’t exactly what he’d call his father. Paranoid was a better term. Angry was another, less relevant, but equally accurate one. Jeremy entered the kitchen and wandered over. 

“Holy shit that smells,” He grunted.

Ryan snorted. _No duh._ He stiffened and blushed as Jeremy put his hands on his shoulders. _He’s touching me again._

“No?” Jeremy muttered, starting to pull away.

Ryan grabbed his hand, stopping him. He looked over his shoulder. _Please?_ Jeremy smiled softly at him and nodded. Ryan smiled back and turned back to the fish while Jeremy once again melted all his tension away like it was made of butter. _Damn, he’s good at this. Where the hell did he learn this?_

He got distracted, leaning back, eyes closing. Physical comfort was never a top priority for him. Really any comfort was panic inducing for him. Jeremy’s hands felt so good he forgot the golden rule: Don’t get comfortable, don’t get happy. 

“Hey, V, did you-“ Gavin shouted, abruptly stopping, “Uh, oops! S-Sorry!”

Ryan jumped, pulling away from Jeremy.

“Gav, wait!” Jeremy called out.

He ran after him while Ryan’s hands shook and the tension flooded back into him. _Don’t let anyone see you feeling good. Don’t get comfortable._ He was hyperventilating. 

_“Stop being such baby!”_

Ryan flinched as his father’s voice echoed in his mind. He breathed deeply a moment before he got himself under control. He wiped sweat off his forehead and looked down at the knife in his hand. 

When was the last time someone touched him that long? Someone who wasn’t gripping desperately at his hands while he strangled them to death.

~

Building a boat for just one would be much easier. Building one for a decently short distance would be even easier. Unfortunately, the FAHC yacht had entirely run out of gas. That meant they had drifted very far from home. 

They needed to make something to last, something that could carry them, and something that could be manned by one amateur sailor and five criminals who barely knew how to be on a boat. 

Ryan was less than optimistic, but he didn’t tell the others that. He figured they didn’t need to know he was utterly depressed about it. He was secretly nudging everyone into more permanent mindsets because he was pretty sure they just lived there now. It wasn’t so bad, but he hated being constantly reminded of his father. And he missed the Internet. Missed fucking porn like a goddamn teenager or some shit.

He sighed as he speared another fish. He and Jeremy were on fish duty that day. They’d decided on alternating days for fishing. Barely a week and he was already tired of eating fish. Their diets needed more diversity. They really needed to be venturing deeper soon, but he was worried they just weren’t prepared for what this island had to throw at them. Turned out the island didn’t give a fuck what they were ready for. 

“Hey!” Jeremy suddenly shouted, leaping up.

Ryan leapt up too as Jeremy took off after a running animal. He ran after him as they made a beeline for the forest. He opened his mouth. _Wait! We’re not ready! You can’t go in there! It’s dangerous! Jeremy!_

“Uhhh.”

_Oh, god, I’ve turned into Tina from Bob’s Burgers!_

“You little shitbag!” Jeremy shouted as he crossed the tree line, “Get back here with that!”

A critter stole something from him. He wasn’t going to catch the thing with his short legs and he was going to draw attention from everywhere. Ryan had to get the thing. He dropped into a full sprint, passing Jeremy entirely too easily and dove for the thing. He got the tail and then the snout. 

He pried the stolen thing from the thief’s grip. A circular piece of metal. _A medallion of some sort?_ He looked down at the squirming creature. A dino. Small. Beak. Long canines on the bottom. About two feet long. _Pegomastax._ He loosened his hold as he stood up.

“V! Did you see if-?” Jeremy panted as he caught up.

Ryan silenced him by holding up the stolen object. Jeremy snatched it from him and closed his fist tightly around it. He pulled his fist to his chest and closed his other hand around it. Ryan wondered if he should keep the pegomastax for food or just let it go. They weren’t very big, but they were an asshole.

The footsteps of another creature crunched over the underbrush behind him and he stiffened. That sounded big. Not massive, but definitely big enough to be a problem. Jeremy peeked around his elbow and winced. Ryan slowly and carefully turned. _A raptor._

_Great._ That was what he wanted. He had woken up that day thinking how lovely it would be to run into a goddamn raptor. It made an odd sort of clicking noise as it looked at them.

“Maybe it’s friendly?” Jeremy offered from behind him.

_Yeah, you know, I hadn’t thought of that. Maybe it’d like to have tea._ Ryan took one arm off the pegomastax to push Jeremy firmly behind him. The raptor either didn’t notice or didn’t care. He carefully pulled a knife.

“V, wait, look where it’s looking,” Jeremy whispered.

Ryan followed the raptor’s line of sight. He frowned. He moved the dino in his arm and the raptor’s eyes followed it. 

“It doesn’t want us, it wants the thief,” Jeremy muttered, “Hey, give it to me, I wanna try something.”

Ryan hesitantly passed the dino to Jeremy who promptly snapped its neck. _Fucking hell, Jeremy._ He stepped around Ryan and started approaching the raptor. Ryan opened his mouth. _Don’t! It’s going to fucking eat you! Jeremy, no!_

“Uhhhh.”

_Damnit!_ He hurried to follow closely behind as the raptor started to meet Jeremy halfway. Jeremy held the corpse out, offering it to the raptor. The raptor seemed as cautious of them as they were of it. Which was very surprising considering the thing was a deadly predator and they were little more than hairless apes. Jeremy held the corpse as the raptor sniffed at it. _We’re too close, it’s going to fucking eat us!_

Ryan put his arm out to grab Jeremy and toss him if the raptor went for him. It bit the carcass and began to eat it. Jeremy let it take a few bites before cautiously putting a hand on its head. Ryan’s whole body was tense and sweaty. The raptor seemed alright with Jeremy touching it though and let him pet its head. 

After the raptor was done eating, it rubbed its face against Jeremy’s belly, pushing him back into Ryan. Ryan gripped his shoulders to keep him up as he laughed. He pet its face and head as it rubbed against him. 

“I think it likes me now!” He laughed, looking up at Ryan, “I guess I learned something from Gavin’s dodos.”

His grin lit up his whole face and Ryan found himself smiling back. He brushed a hand through his hair. _Of course it likes you._ Jeremy’s eyes dropped to the mask over the bottom half of Ryan’s face before he jerked his head back down to the raptor and cleared his throat.

“We sh-should probably get back before someone starts to worry,” he muttered.

_Right._ Ryan turned and headed back the way they came with Jeremy right behind him. The raptor didn’t follow them, thankfully, but Ryan had a feeling they’d see it again. Had a feeling Jeremy _wanted_ to see it again. The guy had little sense of self-preservation. He was always running straight in, head first, like a meat shield. As they knelt by the water again, Ryan glanced over at him. 

He was smart. It didn’t make sense for him to be such an idiot sometimes. Running after the pegomastax, what was he thinking? Then the raptor. He could’ve died. But...he wouldn’t have. As smart as he was, he was quick too. He could adapt on the fly way easier than Ryan could. Fuck, Ryan had been planning to knife-fight a fucking raptor. Hand to hand with a raptor. _That_ would’ve been stupid. Jeremy noticed his staring and looked over.

“You wanna know about the medal don’t you?” He mumbled, sighing.

Ryan shook his head and shrugged. He didn’t care that much. Jeremy could tell him or not as he chose. Jeremy smiled weakly at him. He looked tired. Looked like he could use one of his own massages. Ryan wished he knew how to give them. He pulled out the medallion and held it out to Ryan. 

Ryan took it hesitantly and brought it closer to his face. It looked to be a prize medal. It had a big one on the front of it. Jeremy’s last name was etched into the back. 

“I was a gymnast,” Jeremy explained, “A good one. But...”

He paused, looking down at the water.

“I got injured,” He continued, quieter, “Broke my leg up pretty badly...I, uh, spouted out a lot of curse words. No coach wanted to work with a gymnast that had been injured _that_ bad and had video of him screaming at the judges to fuck themselves. That was my last first place medal.”

Ryan opened his mouth as he held the medal back out to him. _I’m sorry. That sucks._ Jeremy’s fingers brushed against his as he took it. Ryan ruffled his hair. _You’re a trooper._ His eyes traveled to Jeremy’s bare bicep, the one with the tattoo. How was he a gymnast? He’s so... _sturdy._ He felt the bizarre urge to squeeze his muscles to be sure they were real. _Will you put on a shirt with sleeves, you little shit??_

He shook his head and picked his spear up to go back to fishing. He recalled the incident from not five minutes prior. A pegomastax and a raptor. He’d have to tell Gavin about them.

~

“A pegomastax?!” Gavin shrieked, grabbing Ryan’s arm, “What did it look like?! What did it act like?!”

He was shaking Ryan’s arm. _He’s touching me._ Ryan shoved his hands away to write on the whiteboard. He described it and its behavior. Gavin was bouncing in his seat. 

“And the raptor?” He prompted.

Ryan wrote the experience with the raptor.

“Whoa, he snapped its neck?” Gavin mumbled, shuddering, “Lil’ J is cold-blooded.”

Ryan shrugged. _He did save us though._ Jeremy was pretty confident in himself. Or else he faked it really well. Ryan faked being intimidating pretty well even though he was a total loser. Well, he didn’t really _try_ to be intimidating. It just happened. He jolted as Gavin’s hand landed on his thigh. 

“V! Do you think the pegos could be our friends?!” Gavin asked, still bouncing.

_He’s touching me._ Gavin was looking at him with the wide, innocent eyes again. Ryan smiled softly and ruffled his hair. _Of course, buddy. You can be friends with anyone._ Gavin grinned.

“I knew you’d believe in me!” He exclaimed, “We should start right away!”

Ryan chuckled lightly and nodded. _Sure thing, buddy._ Gavin’s eyes went wide again and they were sparkling.

“You really can be happy,” he whispered.

Ryan’s chest squeezed in panic and he stood abruptly. _No, I cannot!_ Gavin grabbed his jacket tightly.

“W-Wait, I’m sorry!” He cried, “D-Don’t go! I-I wanna talk more about the dinosaurs!”

Ryan’s guts squirmed between wanting to run and Gavin’s wide green eyes. He squeezed his hands into shaking fists as he slowly lowered back into the chair. Gavin kept ahold of his jacket.

“The pegos, they eat plants, right?” Gavin asked, “Like the dodos. So we can give them the knockout berries!”

Ryan frowned in confusion. _Knockout berries?_ Gavin pulled away and opened a satchel Ryan hadn’t realized he was wearing. He pulled out a little plastic baggie with black berries inside. The ones he fed the dodos. 

“They make them sleep,” he explained, “And I think when they wake up they imprint on whoever gives them food.”

_Interesting._ Seemed like maybe there was some psychology there, but Ryan ignored psychology as much as possible. Daddy issues were stuck all over him like the nicotine patches his father always used. 

“So we can give the pegos the berries,” Gavin went on, “And then feed them something they like. Most of the dodos like the yellow berries well enough.”

He pulled out another baggie. 

“Geoff wouldn’t let me go further in to find more forgeables,” he huffed, “But if you go, there’s no way he won’t let me!”

Ryan recalled Geoff’s scholar/fighter rule. They’d have to take at least one other person with them. Michael was avidly against going deeper and Geoff was spending all of his time organizing and salvaging bits of the boat. It’d have to be Jeremy then. 

Jeremy was a good hunter. Maybe they would get some meat while they were at it. He looked back at Gavin who was eating one of the yellow berries. No, Gavin didn’t do so good with blood. Hunting would have to be separate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👈👈
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant for nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

Ryan snagged the back of Gavin’s shirt as he tried to run off again.

“V!” He whined, “There’s lil’ lystrosauruses!”

Ryan looked around where he was pointing. About 3 feet in length, turtle-like beaks, quadruped. They _did_ look like lystrosaurus. _But we’re here for pegos._ He looked back at Gavin whose eyes were wide and his hands clasped. _Damnit._ He looked back. They were pretty cute too. He sighed heavily and released him, making sure to keep close by. 

“Weak to puppy eyes, huh?” Jeremy snorted as they guarded Gavin.

Ryan snorted back. _Is there anyone who isn’t?_ He glanced at Gavin where he was feeding one of the lystrosaurus that didn’t scatter when he approached. It was on the smaller side. No more than two feet. _Younger, maybe?_

“Do you...like Gavin?” Jeremy asked quietly.

Ryan grunted as he nodded. Yes, unfortunately. Liking him meant he couldn’t impale him on a spike when he was being a dumbass. Even if he _really_ wanted to.

“Do you...a-are you-?” Jeremy started.

“V! V! V!” Gavin shrieked interrupting as he waved him over, “C’mere!”

Ryan sighed as he traipsed over and crouched down. The lystrosaurus shifted closer to Gavin at his approach. _Yeah, I probably look scary to you, huh?_

“Watch this!” Gavin exclaimed.

He pet the dino’s head and it did a backflip. Ryan’s eyes went wide. _Whoa! Holy shit!_ He poked Gavin. _Do it again!_ Gavin laughed as he pet its head again. The lystrosaurus flipped again. 

Gavin grinned proudly at Ryan who grinned back. Then he looked down at the little creature. He reached for it and it scuttled around to the side of Gavin, hiding from him. _Right._ Ryan pulled away and stood, trying not to seem disappointed.

“Hey, don’t be afraid of my friend!” Gavin scolded, “He’s very nice and you were very rude!”

Ryan’s heart pounded in his chest. _Friend. Very nice. Very nice friend._ He tugged nervously at the edge of his jacket. _Friend. Very nice. Very nice friend._ He turned to Jeremy. _Jeremy! He called me his very nice friend!_ Jeremy was looking at him intently. Ryan blushed, looking away. _Fuck, I’m so dumb._

He jumped as something suddenly scampered up his leg. A pego disappeared inside his jacket. He grabbed it by the tail and yanked it out, snatching what it’d gotten in its mouth. _Knife. Asshole._

He turned to Gavin to give him the pego. Gavin quickly took it and fed it the knockout berries. 

“V,” Jeremy hissed, “These things friendly or what?”

He turned back to Jeremy. Jeremy nodded at a massive quadruped with horns on a frill and at least twenty feet long. _Pachyrhinosaurus,_ Ryan thought, based on the shape of its skull. He tugged Jeremy back. They weren’t carnivores, but they could easily get trampled.

“Hey, can we eat it?” Jeremy asked, “We really need some diet diversity.”

“Please don’t kill it,” Gavin grumbled, “Just thinking about it makes me sick.”

Ryan tugged Jeremy back again. Jeremy huffed and shoved his hand away.

“I get it!” He snapped, “Let’s go before your precious little weakling finds something else to tame instead of eat!”

He stormed away and Gavin made an annoyed sound as he followed after. Ryan sighed, following closely behind him. Well, at least nothing majorly bad happened. Mostly just Ryan somehow upsetting Jeremy. _Great._

~

“Hey, V, wanna take a walk with me?” Jeremy asked, poking his arm.

Ryan frowned at him. _A walk?_

“I have an idea,” Jeremy explained, “I want your opinion.”

_Oh, okay._ Ryan put down the net he was tying. He had thought he’d meant just taking a walk. As if Ryan had time for that. 

“Hey, V, can-?” Gavin called, before interrupting himself, “Oops, nevermind!” 

He grinned at him. Ryan ruffled his hair as he passed. _I can help you later, buddy._ Gavin gave him a thumbs up with the hand not holding Flip, the lystrosaurus (or “lizard puppy” as Gavin called them). Ryan smiled softly as he continued following Jeremy from the boat. 

Gavin was definitely the scholar as Geoff called them. He took every opportunity to learn more. Two weeks and Gavin had basically amassed an army of passive type creatures. He’d begun to sneak them on board now and Ryan had a feeling they’d wake up one day on Noah’s Ark. 

Jeremy, on the other hand, had managed to tame the raptor that he’d fed the pego to. It didn’t hang around, but usually it would appear when they were fishing or when they went into the woods. He just called it “Raptor” which Ryan thought was kinda rude. It was basically a pet now. Should have a name, right? 

“You there?” Jeremy called, snapping Ryan from his thoughts on the raptor.

He nodded and Jeremy slowed down to fall into step beside him. 

“So...did you learn all this stuff from your dad?” He asked, hesitantly.

Ryan nodded.

“You...obviously don’t have to answer,” Jeremy continued, “But um...your dad, he...was bad, wasn’t he?”

Ryan opened his mouth. _He was just paranoid, but...yes._ He closed his mouth and nodded. 

“I’m sorry,” Jeremy murmured, “I...understand. I-I asked because of...I mean, mine was bad too.”

Ryan looked at him. His hands were opening and closing into fists over and over. Ryan reached over and took the hand closest to him. He squeezed gently. _I’m sorry._ Jeremy smiled gratefully at him and they went quiet for a while. 

Jeremy led him along a small river, into the woods. Ryan‘s eyes kept darting around, wary of predators, but it seemed mostly only passive creatures were about. It was quite the distance before they reached their destination. 

It was a waterfall. The sound of rushing water pounded in Ryan’s skull as Jeremy led him around the small pond the waterfall fed into. The water was crystal clear and he could see a few small fish in it. He wasn’t all that sure what they were though as Jeremy rugged him along before he could get a closer look. There was a little space between the cliff and the pond that they edged along as they headed for the waterfall. 

Water flicked over them as they squeezed between the waterfall and the cliff. Ryan noted now that there was a small cave behind the water. They slipped into it and Ryan looked around curiously. There wasn’t much other than the pool of water at the mouth of the cave. Jeremy sat down in front of it, tugging Ryan down with him. Ryan looked at the little plants at the bottom of the pool. He frowned. No fish here. 

“So, don’t get mad...I lied,” Jeremy confessed quietly, “There’s no idea. Geoff told me to make you take a break.”

_What?? I don’t have time for a break!_ He started to stand up, but Jeremy moved behind him, distracting him. _What is he-?_ Jeremy hooked his legs around Ryan’s waist and pulled his jacket off. Ryan blushed. _He’s touching me._ Jeremy kneaded his shoulders and Ryan groaned. 

“If you lay down, I can get your lower back too,” Jeremy coaxed.

Ryan hesitated, but eventually his desire for Jeremy to touch him outweighed his caution on being touched and he nodded. Jeremy pulled back enough to let him lay down, putting his jacket at his head. He straddled his hips and pressed his hands against Ryan’s lower back. _So much touching. He’s so close._

Ryan started to feel sleepy as Jeremy chased his tension away. He drifted off, too tired to panic over his comfort. Too tired to be mad about Jeremy lying. Just so tired.

~

Ryan woke up to someone squirming. They were using his pec as a pillow, arm around his waist, and body pressed against him. _They_ were Jeremy is what they were. Ryan had his arms around him. He grunted in annoyance, brushing a soothing hand through his hair. _Stop squirming, I’m still tired._

“Um, Vagabond?” He muttered.

Ryan hummed. 

“C-Can I get up now?” Jeremy murmured.

Ryan let go of him and he quickly sat up.

“I really gotta pee!” He huffed.

Ryan chuckled as Jeremy scurried out of the cave. He opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling. Other than some stiffness from sleeping on the floor, he felt good. Too good. He was comfortable. 

He needed to get back to making the net. Tomorrow was the first official boat day, he needed to make sure everything else was ready. He sat up as he wondered if the others could handle the survival aspect on their own. They’d all taken the “ask Vagabond all questions” rule very seriously. Jeremy returned as he stood and stretched.

“Ready to head back?” He questioned.

_No, I want to stay in this cave with you forever._ Ryan nodded anyway. Jeremy paused at the entrance of the cave and turned back to him. 

“Listen, V, I’m sorry I tricked you,” he murmured, “Well, not sorry exactly...I’m sorry it came to that, but I’m glad I got you to relax.”

He hesitated, looking away.

“I’ve, um, become the “get Vagabond to relax” guy to the others,” he mumbled, “You probably haven’t noticed, but they keep sending me in when you seem particularly stressed.”

Ryan raised his eyebrows. He hadn’t noticed. Jeremy _did_ always seem to show up when he was ready to destroy something. And the others would suddenly and conveniently find somewhere else to be... Ryan pinched the bridge of his nose. That explained why Gavin had suddenly said “never mind” earlier when normally he didn’t care _what_ Ryan was doing. Jeremy cleared his throat and Ryan refocused on him.

“A-Anyway...I wanted to say, um, I-I don’t mind,” he muttered, twisting his hands, “I-I mean, I like being the “get Vagabond to relax” guy and...and I want to do whatever helps. I-I mean th-the others already think I do, you know?... But...r-relieving your tension...I-I...I _want_ to do it.”

He was staring at the floor, face brilliantly red. He reached out and tugged Ryan’s shirt. Ryan’s heart squeezed. _So cute._ Ryan ruffled his hair. _I appreciate your help, even if you did trick me, you little shit._ He thought maybe he should have a not-talk with the others about putting so much pressure on him though. 

“R-Right so...just l-let me know,” Jeremy stammered, “L-Let’s go back now!”

He turned and hurried from the cave. He’s almost as bad as me about emotional stuff. Ryan followed, blushing a bit himself. _Does this mean we’re...friends?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👈👈😎


	4. Chapter 4

_Bang, bang, bang!_

“V! Wake up!” Jeremy hissed on the other side of Ryan’s bedroom door, “V! I found something!”

_I wasn’t sleeping._ Ryan stood, pulling the fabric mask up over his nose before he opened the door. _You should know I can’t sleep because of our little siesta._ Jeremy brightened up, shining a flashlight in Ryan’s face. Ryan grunted, shoving it down with a glare.

“S-Sorry!” He whisper-shouted, “I found something! You should be sure you have on the Mary Poppins jacket!”

Ryan rolled his eyes and opened the door wider to let him in while he grabbed his stuff. Jeremy closed the door behind him as Ryan pulled on the jacket and started filling it with his usual equipment. _This better not be another “idea”. I swear to Christ, shorty, you trick me again, I’ll punt your cute ass directly into a megalodon mouth._ Which he did know existed here, so it wouldn’t be an idle threat.

“V, you didn’t say you could draw,” Jeremy murmured.

Ryan stiffened. Right, the drawings. He’d basically wallpapered the wall next to the door with them.

“Wow, these are really good!” Jeremy exclaimed, “You even have one of Raptor! Oh, but you spelled it wrong.”

Ryan frowned as he slipped the last of his knives in his pocket. He came up behind him and leaned down. _Jeremy’s Raptor._ Looked right to him. He looked at Jeremy raising an eyebrow. Jeremy turned to look at him and tips of their noses brushed. They were closer than Ryan had realized. Ryan thought maybe he wanted to be closer.

“Um...I-It’s with...with a “w”,” Jeremy breathed.

_Oh._ Ryan blinked a bit, clearing his sudden fuzziness and pulled back to get out his pencil to change it. He leaned back in, holding his hand to the paper as he fixed it. Jeremy squirmed in between him and the wall and Ryan ruffled his hair to calm him down as he finished. _Jeremy’s Wraptor. There._ He turned an exasperated look on Jeremy who was blushing. _Wraptor, really?_

“She...likes chicken wraps,” Jeremy offered sheepishly.

Ryan rolled his eyes as he pulled away and went for his door. Jeremy bounced ahead to lead the way.

“You’re gonna think I’m tricking you again,” Jeremy admitted as he flicked the flashlight on, “But that cave where, um...we took a nap? There’s something in there!”

Ryan sighed. _Better be or you’re getting a one way ticket to Davy Jones’ locker._ Jeremy led the way with the flashlight and Ryan took his hand so he wouldn’t get lost in the dark. He really hoped this something was worth the risk they were taking, coming out here at night. 

After they’d squeezed into the cave again, Jeremy dragged him over to the corner. He pressed against the edge of the cave and shined the flashlight ahead. He waved Ryan over. Ryan frowned, but came to stand beside him. His eyebrows went up. 

There was a sort of opening. It was difficult to see straight on, but from the side it was easy to see. He reached around Jeremy and took the hand holding the flashlight. He angled it to show deeper past the opening. It was too difficult to really see anything, they’d have to go inside.

“I just happened to look over and I thought how weird the wall looked,” Jeremy explained, “So I pointed the flashlight at it and here it was.”

_What the fuck were you doing here in the middle of the night?_ Ryan suddenly wondered. He looked down at Jeremy who looked up. The bare minimum of light from the flashlight made it hard to see, but he thought he was blushing. His eyes jerked back to the spot ahead of him.

“So we should check it out, r-right?” Jeremy muttered.

_You dragged me out here for this?_ Ryan grunted in annoyance. Jeremy looked back up at him with wide eyes. _Oh no._

“Please?” He tried, sounding entirely too sad.

_Damnit. He’s figured out how to do the puppy eyes!_ Ryan sighed heavily and Jeremy brightened up.

“Yes!”

Then he slipped through the space before Ryan could stop him. _Damnit, don’t just run off!_ He hurried after him, worried he’d run around the corner and fall into a bottomless pit. He stumbled into a cavern full of sparkles. He rubbed at his eyes tiredly as he tried to process what he was seeing. 

The sparkles were the reflections of the flashlight on hundreds of crystal formations. The flashlight beam ran over the walls and the ceiling as Jeremy took in the view. Ryan walked up behind him and gripped the flashlight hand again, pointing it down at the floor. No pit, thank Christ, just more crystals. 

“V, is this even possible?” Jeremy muttered.

He began moving the flashlight beam between the contrasting crystal formations. Ryan didn’t think it was, but well, he didn’t think it was possible for dinosaurs and sabertooth salmon to still be alive. Jeremy led the way through the cavern, light flicking all over the place. 

“Something feels weird about this place,” he murmured, “Not like the rest of the island we’ve seen so far.”

Admittedly they hadn’t covered a lot of ground, but Ryan was still inclined to agree. Something weird was about. He paused a moment to inspect a nearby crystal. It looked like fluoride maybe. It was hard to tell since Jeremy and the flashlight hadn’t stopped to wait for him. The dickheads. 

“V, c’mere!” Jeremy hissed.

Ryan hurried to his side, knife in hand. Jeremy pointed with the flashlight and Ryan stepped up beside him. It was a bag. Not unlike the satchel Gavin wore all the time now. Ryan crouched next to it and poked it with the knife. Nothing scuttled out.

“Really?” Jeremy snorted, trying to stifle laughter, “You just poked it! Oh my god, V!”

Ryan blushed, making an annoyed noise. _Rude!_ He beckoned Jeremy closer with the light and flipped open the bag. There was a notebook, canteen, and flashlight inside. 

“You know what this is missing?” Jeremy spoke up, “A skeleton.”

The flashlight beam roamed over the area around the bag. There was (thankfully) no skeleton. Ryan picked up the bag and looped it around his neck. They explored the cavern a bit more, finding nothing else of note. They slipped back out to the little cave and discovered it was raining. 

“You just wanna wait?” Jeremy offered.

Ryan shrugged and plopped down, pulling the bag off. He didn’t really care. He was getting a bit tired. Jeremy sat next to him, flicking the flashlight off. They were quiet a moment, listening only to the sound of rushing water. Jeremy fidgeted nervously. Ryan reached over and ruffled his hair. _Relax, it’ll be over soon._

Jeremy turned toward him. Ryan smiled down at him. He brushed his fingers through Jeremy’s hair. It was hard to see in the dark, but he thought he was pink again. _Cute._ Jeremy shifted closer.

“V, I-I have a question,” he mumbled, “D-Do you...um, are you romantically interested in Gavin?”

Ryan blinked at him. _What?_ Jeremy’s hands twisted and his eyes darted away.

“It’s just, y-you seem to like him,” He muttered anxiously, “And he is quite pretty, I-I mean, I g-guess, for a twink.”

_He thinks Gavin’s pretty?_ Ryan’s eyes narrowed. _Is **he** interested in Gavin?_ Ryan wasn’t sure he liked that idea. Jeremy was staring at him, eyes searching. Ryan shook his head. Jeremy’s shoulders relaxed and he smiled softly.

“I’m so glad,” he admitted quietly.

_So he is then?_ Ryan hummed, looking at the far wall. Maybe that’s why he kept getting angry at Gavin and Ryan hanging out, talking about dinosaurs. Well, Ryan writing, Gavin talking. 

_Maybe I should try to keep my distance. I don’t want to ruin things for him._ He ruffled Jeremy’s hair. _I’m sorry if I’ve been getting in your way._ Though Ryan thought maybe he wanted to be in the way. Jeremy sighed, dropping his face into his drawn up knees. 

“You could just say no,” he grumbled.

_To what?_ Ryan raised an eyebrow, but Jeremy didn’t look up from his knees until the rain stopped.  He didn’t talk again either as they started back to the boat. Ryan still didn’t know what he did wrong. He took his hand again and Jeremy halted. 

“Can you talk?” He whispered, “Tell me if you can talk.”

Ryan squeezed his hand, opening his mouth. _I can! I can talk! I’ve done it before! You can talk! Please, talk! Tell him you can talk!_

“Uhhh.”

_Fucking damnit!_ Ryan’s eyes filled with tears of frustration. Jeremy sighed. 

“It’s okay...it doesn’t matter,” he mumbled, “I just...it doesn’t matter...I just wonder sometimes...if you don’t like us...if you don’t like _me.”_

Ryan tugged him around, shaking his head frantically. _Of course I like you!_ Jeremy looked up at him with shining eyes. He smiled lightly, his shoulders relaxing.

“I’m overthinking, aren’t I?” He sniffled, wiping at his eyes.

Ryan nodded sharply, reaching up to wipe away a single tear that had escaped Jeremy’s eye. Jeremy stared up at him as his thumb swiped through the tear track. Ryan brushed a hand through his hair. _Not talking is me, not you. I want to talk to you._ He swallowed a lump in his throat and ruffled his hair. _I really want to talk to you._ Jeremy sighed heavily.

“Let’s go back.”

He turned away from Ryan to lead him back. He seemed less upset now, but Ryan still felt like he had screwed up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title: Ryan is a Fucking Idiot
> 
> Follow me @1stworldmutant to find out how to get new chapters of Ryan is a Fucking Idiot a day early.


	5. Chapter 5

_I have no idea what the fuck any of these things are. I’ve just been avoiding them as much as possible. I sleep in the cave and eat the armored fish. I don’t know what else to do. I’m going a bit fucking crazy. I think it’s been a week? I’ve lost all sense of time and reality. I wish I’d gotten stranded with at least one other person. I wish it’d been him, honestly. Life would be way better if he was with me._

Ryan frowned at the journal they’d found in the satchel. _Bit depressing for the first entry._ Gavin hummed next to him.

“Who would you pick?” He asked, “If you could only have one of us?”

_Jeremy._ Ryan blushed a bit, looking away. It was an easy answer. _He’s like...my best friend, isn’t he?_

“Jeremy, right?” Gavin laughed.

Ryan felt a pang of guilt, but nodded anyway. It was no secret now that Jeremy was the only one who could truly calm him down. Gavin grinned at him. 

“You’re actually kind of adorable,” he teased.

Ryan’s eyebrows came together. _Don’t say that, you’ll make it sound like you like me and it’ll upset Jeremy._ He looked back at the notebook. Gavin and Jeremy would say each other, right? Or did Gavin not like Jeremy the way Jeremy liked him? Ryan tapped the page and pointed at Gavin.

“Micool, of course!” Gavin answered cheerfully, “Even if he doesn’t like the dodos, he’s still my boi.”

He petted one of said dodos where it was curled up on his lap. Ryan frowned. That didn’t seem to bode well for Jeremy’s prospects. Ryan reached for the dry erase board. 

_Are you in a relationship with Michael?_

Gavin blushed, covering his face.

“N-Not exactly,” he mumbled.

Ryan raised an eyebrow at him. He fidgeted under Ryan’s look for a moment.

“D-Don’t tell anyone, okay?” He murmured, “But, um, we...d-did some stuff. Ph-Physically, I mean.”

Ryan blushed crimson, suddenly filled with regret. He hadn’t exactly expected that. 

“But we don’t talk about it,” Gavin continued, sounding miserable, “And that was before we got stranded here! Now he won’t even be alone with me! I don’t know what to do!”

He looked at Ryan with the puppy eyes, filled with tears. _Oh no._

“What do I do, V?” He asked, “I think I love him.”

Ryan winced and Gavin burst into tears, launching his face into Ryan’s chest. _He’s touching me._ Ryan hesitated a moment before putting his arms around him. Ryan patted his head gently. _It’s okay, buddy. Romance is hard for everyone._

Unfortunately, this really didn’t seem good for Jeremy. But if Michael wasn’t into Gavin, then maybe Jeremy still had a chance? Ryan wanted Jeremy to be happy. He squeezed Gavin tighter, chasing the warmth of his friendship in an attempt to thaw his icy chest. Suddenly he felt quite lonely.

~

“Timber!” Jeremy called out.

Ryan glanced around at him as the tree fell. _Why the hell am I even here?!_ Ryan wondered. He had only managed to get partway through his tree and Jeremy was onto his second. _And he looks amazing! Who told him he was allowed to look like that??_

Ryan turned back to his tree and swung the axe into it, resisting the urge to cover himself self-consciously, despite already still wearing his own shirt. He wanted to put his jacket back on, but it was so damn hot out. Jeremy was muscled and tanned. Sure, he was short, but being tall didn’t exactly do wonders for Ryan. 

He didn’t even want to talk about how many scars were on him. Jeremy had some, but Ryan was more scar tissue than man at this point. In conclusion, Jeremy and Ryan were opposites and it made Ryan feel really fucking self-conscious, even though he was mostly covered. And _hot._ He was sweating even worse, struggling to keep his eyes to himself. 

Jeremy finished his second tree as Ryan finished his first. Ryan tried not to glare as they hauled the trees up onto their shoulders to put them near the beach with Jeremy’s first. He didn’t even look nearly as sweaty as Ryan felt. Ryan was drenched, his shirt completely saturated, but Jeremy _glistened._ Like he was covered in morning dew from sleeping peacefully under the stars. 

Ryan watched a bead of sweat roll down Jeremy’s spine, soaking into the waistband of his boxers. His shorts had slipped enough that Ryan could see the plaid fabric, slightly damp with sweat. His eyes swept over the waistband where he could see ink poking up near his right hip.

Jeremy had a tattoo on his ass. He had tattoos other places too, but for some reason _this_ tattoo was the one Ryan suddenly cared the most about. The one that distracted him so much he whacked right into a tree, nearly breaking his nose. He blushed furiously, wobbling as he tried not to drop the tree on his shoulder.

“V, you okay?” Jeremy called back.

_I ran into a fucking tree!_ Ryan gave him an okay symbol with his fingers, unable to even _look_ at him. _Fucking Christ, get it together, Haywood!_ He readjusted the tree and quickly got it to the others. He wondered though what the tattoo was. 

“You sure you’re alright?” Jeremy asked as they knelt down in front of the trees, “You seem tense...um, my offer still stands, b-by the way.“

Ryan scowled in confusion. _What the fuck is he talking about?? And does he have to point his bare chest right at me?!_ Jeremy stared at him a moment.

“You...have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” He muttered.

Ryan shook his head, worry stabbing his heart. _Did I do something wrong?_ He reached out to squeeze Jeremy’s hand. _I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry._ Jeremy was blushing even though his face was curled in a scowl.

“You’re...actually sort of stupid, aren’t you?” He grunted.

Ryan sighed, but nodded. _Rude, but...yes, especially with social stuff._ Jeremy leaned toward him.

“V, I want...” He murmured, eyes darting away, “I want to be with you.”

Ryan smiled softly and ruffled his hair. _I want to be with you too, I like being around you._ Jeremy gripped his wrist, shaking his head.

“No, n-not like that, V,” He mumbled, face brilliantly red. 

Ryan frowned. _Not like what?_

“I-I mean...c-closer,” Jeremy added, letting go of Ryan’s wrist. 

_Closer? Like he wants a hug?_ Jeremy leaned forward, putting his hand on Ryan’s knee. _He’s touching me!_ He was staring at the ground, blushing brightly. Ryan didn’t really know what to do, but it seemed like Jeremy was trying to get closer physically. Waiting for Ryan to say it was okay. _Of course it’s okay._

Ryan opened his arms and Jeremy relaxed a little, shuffling closer.  He put his arms around Ryan’s neck and Ryan blushed. _He’s touching me._ He put his arms around his waist and pulled him close into a hug. He suppressed a shudder at his bare arms touching Jeremy’s bare torso. He was so starved for human touch he only briefly worried that he smelled bad. Jeremy smelled like the forest.

“D-Damnit, you still don’t get it, do you?!” Jeremy cried miserably into his shoulder, “I’m not good at this stuff! Especially in the fucking daylight!” 

Ryan squeezed him closer, distracted by all of Jeremy’s bare skin on him. _Touching, so much touching._ His eyes flicked down over Jeremy’s shoulder to where the ink was poking out of his underwear. His hand flitted toward it. He wanted to see it. Wanted to see it _badly._

“Vagabond? Lil’ J?” Gavin’s voice suddenly called out.

Ryan shoved Jeremy a good two feet from him and turned back to the trees. His heart was pounding in his chest. _Jesus, I almost fucking molested him!_ Ryan cleared his throat.

“V! Jeremy!” Gavin called, “Where the hell are you guys?”

“O-Over here!” Jeremy called back.

Ryan did his best to ignore everything, pulling his Bowie knife to start stripping the trees. He didn’t want to get up for another tree and show off the obvious bulge in his pants. 

“There you are!” Gavin cried out, suddenly launching at Ryan, “V! V! I read the rest of the journal!”

Ryan shoved him a good two feet away as well. _Don’t do that! Jeremy will think you like me!_

“V, I read the rest of the journal!” Gavin exclaimed, holding up the notebook, “He talks about loads of dinos. I think I know some of them going on his descriptions. But more than that, I think he got away!”

Ryan looked at him sharply. _Got away? On his own?_

Gavin flipped open the notebook and held it up.

“Look, he says he found ruins,” he murmured, “And then he says he saw a T-Rex!”

Ryan frowned at him. _Neither of those, though interesting, have anything to do with escaping._

“Oh, right!” Gavin grunted, flipping through pages, “He says he saw a plane land in the cold region. He left the bag in case anyone came after him.”

Ryan took the notebook to read it.

_I swear I saw a fucking plane land in the snow region. I’m going up. I have to see if it was real. If anyone sees this, just know I probably got off this godforsaken rock. Or I fucking died. My money’s on the latter, but I’m praying with all my atheist heart that it’s the former._

Ryan flipped the page in the notebook. The rest was blank. So the guy either got out or died. They really did need to venture deeper. They were going to get sick if they didn’t diversify their diet. But the guy also saw a fucking Rex. They’d stayed so close to the beach, their biggest threat thus far had mostly been raptors. Ryan sighed, rubbing his forehead. They needed to get prepared if they were going to follow this guy. 

He looked down at the trees. Boat-building might have to take a backseat to getting up to the colder region. If this guy got out, then the landing zone may have some communication equipment left. 

Ryan stood up to look out toward the mountainous area. It was high enough up, maybe communication equipment worked up there. He shivered, looking back at the notebook. Or they’d find that skeleton.


	6. Chapter 6

Geoff’s fingers tapped on the table as he reread the journal’s last entry. He’d read it several times over now as Ryan and Gavin waited patiently. Gavin’s knee had been bouncing nervously the whole time. Flip eventually hopped from his lap to Ryan’s where she was now nestled in, sleeping soundly. It was possibly the greatest day of Ryan’s life.

Finally, Geoff flipped the journal closed and placed it carefully on the table. 

“Alright, here’s my problem,” He grunted, “Vagabond, if I send you up there, I run the risk of losing you. If I don’t, no fucking way any of the rest of us get there safely. But obviously I can’t ignore this. This could be our best bet out of here.”

Ryan reached for the whiteboard.

_You guys can get on without me, you have the boat plans and you’ve all learned to survive just fine._

“V!” Gavin shouted, startling him, “It isn’t _just_ about that! We don’t want to lose you!”

Ryan frowned. 

_I don’t follow,_ he wrote, _isn’t that what we’re talking about?_

Gavin made a frustrated noise.

“Lil J is right about you!” He huffed, “You really are an idiot!”

Ryan blushed. _They...talk about me? They talk about me being stupid._ Ryan’s blush worsened. Gavin grabbed his arm tightly.

“V, we want you to stay alive because we like you,” he explained, voice firm, “You’re like my best mate now!”

Ryan blushed. _Best mate. I’ve never been anyone’s best friend before._

“Well, guess I’ll just go fuck myself,” Geoff snorted, “But he’s right, we like you, not just your skills. Though yes, also that. Even if we can make do, you’re our expert, you’re keeping us together right now. Without you stepping up with all your solutions and answers, we’d be scrambling.”

Ryan had never been so red in his life. He shook his head. _No, that’s not true. I’m not that valuable. I’m not valuable at all._ Gavin’s hand tightened on his arm and Ryan looked at him in alarm.

“Listen to me, Vagabond,” he spoke calmly in measured tones, “Jeremy needs you.”

Ryan turned towards him, grabbing his hand. _He does?! Why does he need me?! Tell me what he needs!_ His eyes darted between Gavin’s, searching.

“You know he’s a wild child,” Gavin answered his unspoken inquiries, “If you weren’t here keeping him busy and on track, he would’ve stripped naked and ran off into the woods.”

Ryan glanced away. That was probably true actually. 

“So you can’t throw yourself headfirst into danger, okay?” Gavin pressed, “Unless you want Jeremy to go feral and die alone in the forest somewhere. Do you want that?”

Ryan shook his head frantically. _No, definitely not alone. He doesn’t deserve to be alone._ Gavin squeezed his hand with a smile.

“Then we agree, you’re important!” He announced cheerfully, “So no recklessness, got it?”

Ryan nodded. He took up the whiteboard again.

_But I won’t die in the mountain area. I think if we scout it first, it should be fine. I just need to see what creatures there are._

“Excellent!” Geoff exclaimed, clapping his hands together, “Then we’ll have a scouting trip. You keep bugging me to go deeper anyway.”

“I wanna go!” Gavin squealed, “Let’s go see the dinos!”

Ryan laughed and ruffled his hair. _Okay, let’s go see the dinos._

~

“I just want everyone to know, I hate this,” Michael grumbled as they moved through the trees, “I fucking hate this.”

“Awe, but we get to spend time together!” Gavin pouted, “Don’t you wanna spend time with me, boi?” 

“I-I mean, yes...” Michael muttered, “But this is so fucking dangerous! There’s all manner of fuckery in this place! We should stay on the fucking beach and eat your walking chicken wings for diversity. And fuck the journal guy! He’s an asshole! Who was like 80% sure he was fucking hallucinating!”

“Why’re you so scared of the forest, boi?” Gavin prompted.

“I’m not scared!” Michael protested, “I’m fucking smart, okay?! Th-There’s some crazy shit out here! And we don’t need any more of your stupid little friends!”

“Hey!” Gavin huffed, “They aren’t stupid! Dodger brings me useful stuff all the time! And the dodos are actually clever! They know how to avoid being seen by you on the boat!”

“You’ve been bringing them on the boat?!” Michael demanded shrilly.

Ryan halted, turning to them. _I swear to fucking Christ, if you two don’t shut the fuck up, I’m tying you together and tossing you in the first mouth big enough to fit you both._ They looked scolded by his not-scolding, so Ryan turned back forward. _So loud._ He couldn’t focus. 

He was tensed up, anxious as they hiked through the forest. This was a bad idea, taking Gavin. Made especially bad by taking Michael along with him. Michael had insisted if Gavin went, _he_ was going, but he wasn’t gonna be happy about it. It hadn’t been more than five minutes past their previous record for furthest in when the complaining started. 

It had been ten minutes since then and Ryan was seriously considering turning back. Gavin would give him the biggest puppy eyes about seeing the dinos, but Michael’s incessant bitching accompanied by Gavin’s tendency to bitch back, was grating on Ryan like nails on a chalkboard. 

Jeremy’s hand squeezed his and he glanced at him, shoulders relaxing a bit. At least Jeremy was there too. Wearing a shirt for once in his life. It was entirely too tight across his pecs, but at least he was covered. 

Ryan halted as he noticed a dinosaur on the ground not far from them. The curved crest on its head made it easy to identify as a Parasaurolophus. They were skittish creatures, he’d only caught glimpses of what he thought were them, but couldn’t be sure as they ran off too quickly. 

He signaled to Jeremy that he was going to check it out and they moved over towards it. Gavin nearly bowled Ryan over in his excitement. He gripped at Ryan’s shoulders, peeking over as they moved forward. Ryan nearly flipped him over his shoulder to slam him into the ground, he was so tense. He shrugged him off as the Parasaurolophus let out a distressed cry. 

It tried to move away at their approach, but it was stuck. Its foot was caught in a tree root. It cried again as Ryan crouched down next to it. He rubbed its flank briefly, trying to get it to relax before he pulled his Bowie knife. He carefully sawed at the root while Gavin crouched at its head.

“Hey there,” He greeted carefully, “You’re a Parasaurall, Parasaurallfuss, er...You’re a Parasaur, right? You don’t have to worry, my friend is really nice, he’s gonna get you out of here.”

Ryan blushed. _Really nice friend._ He got the Parasaur’s leg free. It was bruised, but okay. He stood and sheathed his knife, then turned to tug Gavin up. Gavin was scribbling away in his journal as they moved on. 

Jeremy fell in step beside him as Gavin and Michael led the way. Or rather, Gavin walked ahead with his nose in his journal and Michael guided him out of the way of trees. Jeremy grinned up at Ryan.

“You’re actually really sweet on the inside, aren’t you?” He teased lightly.

Ryan blushed again. 

“Softie,” Jeremy joked.

Ryan’s spine stiffened.

_“You’re too soft,” his father growled, “Stop being a baby.”_

He stumbled suddenly as something nudged against his ass, knocking him out of his memory. He looked back to find the Parasaur following him. He halted to pet it lightly. _Now go on home._ He shooed it before turning back around. He got two steps before he was nudged again. 

He halted again, this time to push it back firmly before turning back to walking. He was nudged again. He turned around, pushing the dino away. _I don’t have time for your playing!_ He turned back and then swiveled back, whipping a knife out as it started to nudge him again. 

It seemed totally unperturbed by the knife, nudging at his hand and then his side. Ryan sighed, rubbing his forehead tiredly. _Fine, alright, but you work for your meal around here._ He grabbed Gavin by his collar and dragged him, squawking, over to the dino. _Carry this so it doesn’t keep tripping while it’s writing._ He plopped him on the Parasaur’s back and rubbed its head. _Now stop nudging my ass._ He turned to start off again. 

“Don’t worry, buddy,” Gavin spoke to the dino, “He’s like that with all new people.”

_Like what?_ Ryan wondered as they started out again. 

~

“What’s this guy called?” Jeremy whispered.

It was a bipedal dino and had a crocodile sort of skull. Ryan was fairly certain it was a spino of some type. Spinos were not exactly his specialty, but his guess was a Baryonyx. He wrote the word in the notebook and Jeremy sounded it out.

“Okay, so it looks scary,” Jeremy commented, “It’s like a croc, though. I bet if we’re on it or behind it and get those jaws closed, those short arms aren’t gonna do much. Do you know what it eats?”

_ Fish. _

“Still, probably best if we keep our distance,” Jeremy muttered.

Ryan marked it as “scary” on Gavin’s system. Thus far Gavin’s system was “predator” “scary” and “prey”. Essentially all the carnivores went in “predator”, all the small herbivores in “prey”, and anything that looked like it could kill them if they bothered it went in “scary”. There were a distressing number of creatures classified as predator or scary.

“Mark that killable,” Jeremy added.

Jeremy’s system thus far was “killer” or “killable”. Anything he thought he could kill went in “killable”, the rest in “killer”. Jeremy was scary sometimes. Meanwhile Ryan’s system was “no” and “fuck no”.

“Well, I think that’s it for this area,” Jeremy muttered, “Except for the water itself. We’ll have to get down for that.”

Ryan preferred staying in the trees. Everything on the ground pretty well ignored them in the trees and so far none of the birds seemed all that interested in them. There were a few that had been curious about them, then of course the dodos that loved Gavin. But none yet that had outright attacked them and that had continued thus far on the scouting trip. Admittedly, they still weren’t that far in, relative to the size of the massive island. 

Jeremy dropped from the limb they were perched on and swung off a lower branch before landing. Ryan glared as he made a much clumsier landing. _Why does he have to make everything look so damn easy??_ And he always looked amazing. _Asshole._

They carefully made their way to the water, avoiding the Baryonyx they’d observed. Ryan frowned as he looked in the river. _This is not right._

“I thought these guys were salty boys, as Gavin called them?” Jeremy prompted, “The coelacanth and the sabertooths, right? What are they doing in freshwater?”

_Why does everyone keep asking me like I know what’s going on in fucking dinotopia??_ They were smaller in the river, as though they’d adapted to live in the narrower space. _Is the water here saltwater as well?_ Ryan scooped up a handful of water and held it out to Jeremy’s mouth.

Jeremy wrinkled his nose, but his tongue cautiously slipped out to taste the water. Ryan was distracted a moment watching Jeremy essentially eating from the palm of his hand and had to jerk away as Jeremy started to slurp the rest up. _I just needed you to taste it, not drink it! It’s probably filled with bacteria!_ Jeremy looked scolded at Ryan’s not-scolding.

“Tastes pretty good,” He mumbled sheepishly, “Better than the filtered stuff on the boat.”

Which they were going to end up without eventually. Filters could only last so long. Plus we really need to get out of this place before Jeremy goes full wild child. It wasn’t looking good considering he liked unfiltered river water apparently. 

Ryan rubbed his forehead tiredly. His tension had yet to go away. Which tended to happen when you just ignored it. He had a million things running through his head, anxiety, stress, and anger thumping against his skull, giving him a migraine to rival all others. 

_ Splash! _

Ryan sputtered as water was suddenly splashed over him. Jeremy grinned at him and Ryan’s eyes narrowed.

_ Splash! _

Jeremy laughed as Ryan splashed back, drenching Jeremy’s too-tight shirt. Jeremy splashed him again and Ryan shoved him toward the water. Jeremy pinwheeled a moment before falling in. 

He glared at Ryan as he lifted himself back out of the water. The wet strands of his purple hair were hanging down nearly to his glaring eyes. Ryan just laughed. He looked like an adorable, angry little kitten who definitely didn’t want to take that bath.

“Now I’m soaked,” he lamented, tugging his shirt over his head.

_Why did you have to do that?!_ Ryan wondered. He turned to face the river as Jeremy wrung his shirt out. _Why does everything involve him taking his fucking shirt off?!_

“So what are the other ones?” Jeremy questioned, leaning a bit over the water.

_Piranha,_ Ryan wrote, _do not go past the shallow part._ Jeremy nodded.

“At least it’s not the ocean though,” he snorted, “Pretty sure the big fuck shark is the scariest thing I’ve ever seen. Hey, V, wanna see something cool?”

Ryan raised an eyebrow at him. _I mean, obviously._ Jeremy gave him a wild grin before turning to the water. He watched the fish swim for a moment while Ryan waited. Jeremy’s hand suddenly shot out.

_ Splash! _

Jeremy lifted up a squirming piranha by the tail. Ryan’s eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open. _Holy shit! He just caught it with his bare hands!_ Ryan poked him urgently. _Do it again!_ Jeremy chuckled as he released the fish. He watched the fish a moment before his hand shot out again. This time he held up one of the younger of the salmon.

“Pretty cool, right?” Jeremy laughed, “Useful too.”

He dropped the fish back into the water again. Ryan was fucking amazed. Well, so much for getting out before he went wild. Jeremy glanced up at the sky, frowning.

“We’re burning daylight,” He muttered, “We need to get moving. Let’s catch back up to Team Nice Dynamite.”

They stood and started moving on. Ryan had to quickly put Jeremy behind him because he was going to die of heat stroke if he kept looking at Jeremy’s bare skin. Especially from behind where he could see the tantalizing ink. _Put your fucking shirt back on!_


	7. Chapter 7

Ryan was exhausted by the time they set up camp. Gavin fed the Parasaur while Jeremy started a fire and Michael and Ryan set up the tents. After rolling the sleeping bags out flat, Ryan suddenly realized there were two tents and two sleeping bags. Which meant he’d have to share with one of them.

They hadn’t even discussed it. They probably all assumed they’d sleep based off their loose buddy system. He glanced to Jeremy. He was sitting by the little fire, cooking something while he chatted with Gavin. They were smiling and laughing lightly as they talked. Maybe Jeremy would prefer to sleep with Gavin. Ryan walked over to them and sat nearby. Gavin grinned at him.

“Heya, V!” He greeted cheerfully, “How’s it feel to tame your first dino?”

_I didn’t tame it. It just followed me._ As if it sensed it was being talked about, the Parasaur shuffled over and plopped down, laying its head on his leg. He sighed heavily and petted its forehead. It felt good, actually. He wanted to be liked. At least animals were too dumb to see that he was a loser. 

“Vagabond,” Michael grunted, sitting down next to him, “Would you mind bunking with me?”

Ryan’s eyebrows went up. 

“Yes, he would mind!” Gavin interrupted, “He’s sleeping with Jeremy!”

Michael shot him a glare.

“Maybe I don’t want to bunk with you,” He grumbled.

Gavin’s eyes darted to Ryan’s, looking panicked. He was asking for help, but Ryan didn’t know what kind. Ryan scooted over to him and put his arm around him, squeezing and pulling him closer. 

“Okay, you can sleep with Gavin then,” Michael relented.

Gavin looked like he wasn’t sure that was the help he wanted.

“No, he can’t,” Jeremy piped up, “He can’t sleep with any of us, you dumbasses. He has to take off the mask to sleep. The Lads bunk together, the Vagabond sleeps alone.”

Ryan forgot. He actually forgot about the mask. Ryan let go of Gavin, feeling stupid and... _disappointed_. Any one of them being nearby was preferable to being alone. 

“Oh, what about the Parasaur?” Gavin commented, “Should they go in the tent? It can’t be safe to leave them out.”

“Oh, can it even fit?” Jeremy wondered. 

Ryan looked between the tent and the Parasaur. It probably could, but would it really make that much of a difference? 

“It’s a she,” Michael muttered, “It’s smaller and duller than the others.”

They all turned to look at him.

“What?” He grunted, “Didn’t you guys notice? It’s little head thing is smaller too.”

Gavin crawled around Ryan to check between the dinosaurs legs. 

“He’s right,” he announced, crawling back, “Michael, when did you see the others? They’ve been too skittish for us to see properly.”

Michael went pink and he looked away.

“Just...around,” he muttered.

Gavin got out his journal.

“Tell me everything!” He demanded.

Michael shifted, clearly anxious by this line of questioning. Ryan wondered why.

“I happened to go into the forest,” he muttered, “And there was five of them. I ran with them when they bolted and they didn’t seem to mind all that much. They didn’t seem very scared of me, actually. Anyway, three were bigger, with more color and their little head things were longer. Then there was two like that one. Uh. What’s it called when the genders look different?” 

“Sexual dimorphism,” Jeremy provided.

“So, that, right?” Michael concluded.

_But why did he run with them?_ Ryan wondered.

“Parasaurs must be like most prey in stampedes,” Gavin commented, tapping the pen against his chin, “If they’re running from something else, as long as you run with them, you don’t get trampled. Right?”

He looked at Ryan for confirmation. Ryan shrugged. _How the hell should I know? I didn’t spend a lot of time around living animals._ He looked down at the Parasaur. He recalled a similar incident with a moose caught in a trap. Its distressed wails had squeezed Ryan’s chest so tight he’d tried to free it. 

_“You’re too soft,” his father growled, “Stop being a baby and kill it.”_

He wasn’t sure how old he was, but he had definitely been younger than ten. He jolted as Jeremy appeared in front of him. 

“Hey, V, will you take a walk with me?” He requested, voice gentle.

He looked worried. Ryan’s heart squeezed. _What’s wrong?_ He got up, leaving Gavin and the Parasaur together as he followed Jeremy into the woods. He gripped Jeremy’s hand again and they walked some time before Jeremy stopped and sat down. 

He gestured for Ryan to sit between his legs, facing away from him. Ryan shrugged off his jacket and sat, absolutely ready to kill to get Jeremy’s magical hands on him. Almost as soon as he touched him, Ryan relaxed. Just being with him was relaxing. Just seeing him smile made Ryan feel better. 

“V?...I was wondering,” He murmured near Ryan’s shoulder, “Are you...straight?”

Ryan frowned a bit at that and shook his head. _What would give you that impression?_

“So...do like men, then?” He questioned.

Ryan nodded. What the fuck did this have to do with anything though? Jeremy sighed, sounding almost relieved. Ryan was slumping backwards into him as his tension disappeared. Jeremy looped his arms around him and rested his chin on Ryan’s shoulder as Ryan rested his head back on his. They were quiet a long time and Ryan found himself drifting in the direction of sleep.

“V, do you think I’m attractive?” Jeremy murmured.

Ryan nodded, humming vaguely. _Duh, you’re attractive. A blind person could see how attractive you are._ Jeremy nuzzled up to where the mask was covering his ear.

“Then would you like to try some other forms of stress relief with me?” He whispered. 

Ryan hummed again. _Whatever you want, Jeremy._ He was too calm and relaxed to process Jeremy’s hand moving down his torso until it tugged open his belt. He jolted in surprise, gripping Jeremy’s wrist instinctively as he abruptly sat up. _What th_ _e fuck is he doing?_

“Er...sorry, d-did I misinterpret?” Jeremy stammered, “I-It seemed l-like you were into it. S-Sorry.”

He pulled his hands away and Ryan quickly pulled away from him. Relieving tension, he had said in the cave. _I’m a fucking idiot! Who says relieve tension unless it means sexual tension?! Oh my fucking god!_ His face was on fire. And the others, he said they thought he did it already anyway. They’d been sending Jeremy in to get him off this whole time! 

He stood abruptly, turning back the way the camp was. They probably thought he really would snap and murder them all. So they were using Jeremy to try to calm him down. Using him like bait. Ryan hated that. He hated it so much he wanted to kill something. He stormed back toward the camp with Jeremy hurrying after him.

“V, w-wait, I-I’m sorry!” He cried, “I-I didn’t mean to offend you!”

Ryan stopped and turned to him, face softening. _Jeremy, you did nothing wrong._ He cupped his jaw gently. _You just genuinely care and want to please them. You are not at fault. No more at fault than a piece of meat in a bear trap._ He brushed his hand through his hair.

“Y-You’re not mad a-at me?” Jeremy squeaked.

Ryan shook his head. _Of course not._ He hesitated a moment before hugging him tightly. _I appreciate all your concern and help, but you don’t have to do that._ He released him and restarted his trek back to the camp. Geoff Ramsey, on the other hand, was going to wake up with Ryan’s boot on his face.

“Th-Then who are you mad at?” Jeremy pressed.

Ryan stopped again and gestured vaguely toward the camp. Jeremy frowned.

“The others? Why are you mad at the others?” He grunted, looking utterly confused. 

_For making you do things you of course would never want to do._ Ryan didn’t know how to communicate that. 

“Do you...like one of the others romantically?” Jeremy tried.

Ryan sighed, shaking his head. He started for the camp again. He could write it down for him. When they got back, they found Gavin and Michael missing. There was a note near the fire. _Be back soon! But you should have plenty of time alone! ;) ~TND_

Ryan crumpled the note in frustration, before smoothing it back out and flipping it over.

_I’m mad they send you in like bait._

Jeremy frowned at the sentence.

“If I’m bait, it’s willing bait,” he pointed out.

_That doesn’t make it okay for them to treat you like that._

“I guess you have a point,” Jeremy conceded, “It is a bit of a dick move. But...I really don’t mind it. I mean, it’s not like you would ever hurt me. And like I said...”

He blushed, looking away and fidgeting with the edge of his shirt.

“I-I want to do it,” he finished much quieter.

Ryan sighed. People-pleasing was something he had seen a lot of from Jeremy. It was something he had seen a lot of from himself too. It was dangerously easily to lose yourself, to get yourself in trouble by trying to get others to like you. What if this fucked up Jeremy’s chance at getting with Gavin too? 

_ I already like you and being with you makes me happy. I don’t need anything else from you.  _

Jeremy read the note and blushed bright red. He fidgeted with it for a moment.

“I-I like you too,” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

Ryan smiled gently and moved to run his hand through Jeremy’s hair again. Jeremy gripped his wrist, tears suddenly springing into his eyes.

“Damnit, you still don’t fucking get it!” He cried, “N-Not like that, V! I don’t want to be just like the other lads! I-I don’t care if you don’t want to have sex, but I still want to be special to you!”

“You are.”

Ryan jumped at the sound of his own raspy voice. Jeremy’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in shock. Ryan stared back with equal disbelief. Before it could be addressed, the sound of a pair of shoes ran toward them. Gavin, it had to be, since Michael wore boots. They scrambled to their feet, which made Ryan realize the Parasaur wasn’t there. 

“V! Come quick!” Gavin shrieked as he burst through the trees.

He seized Ryan’s hand and dragged him along as he ran back the way he’d come.

“Troodons are nocturnal!” Was the only explanation he gave as they ran.


	8. Chapter 8

Gavin pointed ahead where Michael was crouched, looking though the trees.

“I-I can’t look,” he muttered, “But it’s through there.”

Ryan and Jeremy shared a “wtf” look before moving forward toward Michael.

“Hey, uh, condolences, I guess,” Michael greeted, “Your dino wandered off.”

He pointed. Ryan squinted in the dark to see the Parasaur on the ground getting eaten by what Ryan assumed were Troodons, based on Gavin’s comment. Well, that was unfortunate. Not exactly unforeseen when he saved the thing though. He knew a lot about the circle of life. An unfortunate amount.

“V, do you think they’ll be friendly?” Jeremy questioned, “I know you didn’t hand them the meat, but maybe they can recognize you provided it?”

Ryan frowned. That was a bit of a stretch wasn’t it?

“Hey, we can cover you,” Michael suggested, “We’ll keep our guns out.”

_Guns attract too much attention. We need bows._

“Do you think that could work?” Gavin piped up behind him.

Ryan glanced back to see his eyes covered, but he was bouncing with excitement. They were all looking excited and curious. Jeremy especially, staring at him with wide, sparkling eyes. _Damnit._ He looked back. There were six of them, fairly tiny. They could probably take them if they needed to. _Probably._

Ryan stood and approached them carefully. He crouched near the corpse and hesitantly held a hand out. Maybe they were like dogs? One of them approached about as cautiously as he had. It did sniff his hand like a dog and then pushed its head into it. He pet its head and neck in slow movements, trying not to startle it. 

It made a sort of soft screeching noise and the others approached as well, crowding around him. He fell on his ass as they rubbed their faces all over him. Yes, it would be quite easy to be overwhelmed by these creatures.

“Did it work?” Gavin whisper-shouted.

“It worked!” Jeremy confirmed, laughing, “They’re crawling all over him like puppies now.”

“Very dangerous puppies,” Michael snorted. 

Ryan took one of their jaws in his hand. They did seem dangerous, despite being so tiny and especially in a pack. If they were like dogs, maybe they could be guard dogs. He looked back at the Parasaur’s corpse. Best keep them fed though.

He squinted and shifted closer to its head. One the ground and in its mouth were berries. Its cheeks were expanded holding them, sort of like a chipmunk. _The Parasaur can collect and hold many berries at a time._ Useful, considering collecting berries was a massive pain in the ass.

~

Ryan woke up to the clicking of a raptor and the screeching of the Troodons. He hurried from the tent, worried about what damage would be done to find it was Wraptor. She looked like she was just talking to them. Like they were communicating, possibly explaining why they were guarding Jeremy. 

Ryan pulled the fabric mask up and fetched one of the freezer bags they’d filled with the Parasaur. It did kinda suck that she’d died, but Ryan honestly didn’t feel that bad about it. He sat down near the dinos and fed them the raw meat. Maybe it was cruel of him not to care more, but the world was crueler. 

Jeremy emerged first, disappearing to relieve himself before coming back to restart the fire. It was a rather awkward silence as he skewered some meat to cook over the fire. Ryan tried not to think about it. After he finishing feeding the dinosaurs, he joined him by the fire to cook his own meat.

“Vagabond, about last night,” Jeremy mumbled, face pink, “I-I won’t tell anyone you can talk.”

Ryan puffed out a relieved sigh at that. At least no one would pester him about talking then. Jeremy scooted around the fire, closer to him. 

“Um, here,” he murmured, handing him the note from last night, “I...Wh-What did you m-mean when you said I was, um, special t-to you?” 

Ryan pulled out a pencil but hesitated over the page. _What... **did** I mean?_ Jeremy shifted next to him, fidgeting.

“Did you mean r-?” He started.

“Fucking Christ!” Michael shouted from the tent, ducking back inside, “Why the hell is that overgrown chicken thing here?!”

“Wraptor’s protecting us, asshole,” Jeremy snapped.

“Goddamn feathery assholes,” Michael hissed before he reappeared, “Why’s everything got fucking feathers around here? They make me fucking sneeze just looking at them.”

Ryan laughed as he joined them at the fire.

“Glad you’re so damn amused,” Michael grumbled under his breath.

Ryan looked down at the note.

“Um, w-we can talk later,” Jeremy suggested.

Ryan nodded, folding up the paper and tucking it away. Maybe by the time they talked about it again, he’d have an answer. They finished cooking and began to eat the meat. Jeremy made a pleased noise.

“Ahhh, something other than fish or berries,” he laughed.

Ryan chuckled and ruffled his hair. _Goofball._ Wraptor made another one of her clicking sounds and came over to beg Jeremy for food. Jeremy pushed her face away.

“You already ate,” he huffed, “This is for me.”

She laid down next to him, plopping her head in his lap. He sighed.

“Alright, one piece you ungrateful brat,” he grumbled, sliding a piece off the skewer, “What have you been doing anyway? I told you to be on the lookout and now we’re eating the Parasaur. You’re the worst guard dog.”

_Has she been following us this whole time?!_ Michael made a distressed noise as he seemed to come to a similar conclusion. She clicked as she accepted the chunk of meat.

“Don’t you sass me,” Jeremy huffed.

Gavin appeared much later than the rest of them, looking rather exhausted as he crawled from the tent over to Ryan’s free side. He opened his journal and tapped the blank page next to the entry he’d titled “Troodon”.

“J says you can draw,” He croaked, voice rough with sleep, “Can you draw the dinos for me?”

Ryan blushed, but nodded. Gavin’s face brightened into a wide grin.

“Thank you!” He exclaimed, “We can do it when we get back, though. I know we have to focus on the scouting.”

Ryan ruffled his hair. _Very good, buddy, you **can** learn_. He shoved Gavin’s head away. _Now eat breakfast._

After they ate, they broke camp and pulled their packs on. The Troodons were curled up now, sleeping in the sunlight. Ryan hesitated a moment before opening the top of his pack and letting in a few of them. Jeremy opened his and took two more. The last was claimed by Gavin who scooped it up into his arms. Now with everyone in tow, they started out.

They’d yet to get out of the massive forest and it was unnerving that they didn’t seem any closer to the mountain. They really needed to at least be able to see the base of it. Equally unnerving was they had no idea what lay between the trees and the mountains. Scouting basically meant “walking blind” after all.


	9. Chapter 9

By the time the scouting party stopped around noon, they’d seen several herbivores Gavin marked as “prey” or “scary” and ran into one raptor that seemed to like Jeremy almost before he gave it food. Ryan was tired of walking and Gavin’s incessant chatter. Not to mention Michael’s skittishness was getting annoying too.

He was massively grateful when they stopped and he was able to sit against a tree. He puffed out a sigh, closing his eyes. Last night’s events replayed in his head. He’d spoken. For the first time in quite awhile. Jeremy was indeed special to him, that was obvious. 

Best friend, he’d considered before, but it just didn’t seem right. Jeremy was different than a friend. His eyes cracked open to watch Jeremy as he joked with the other two. He socked Michael in the arm who socked him back. He definitely wasn’t like Michael or Gavin. That much Ryan knew. He had said he didn’t want to be like them, so Ryan had at least one thing going right.

“Hey, V, wanna see a magic trick?” Gavin laughed, scooting towards Jeremy, “You’ll like this one!”

Jeremy frowned at him as he scooted close to him.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He grumbled.

“I’m gonna make your shirt disappear!” Gavin giggled.

_Please don’t!_ Ryan wanted to beg. Gavin suddenly shoved his hand at Jeremy’s shirt and smeared what looked like jam all over it. Jeremy jolted, batting Gavin’s hand away.

“Damnit, Gavin!” Jeremy huffed, “I’m gonna have to take my bath early!”

He pulled his T-shirt off with an annoyed grunt. Gavin held a mashed up handful of berries in his palm, grinning at Ryan.

“Now I’m all sticky,” Jeremy added, wiping at the dripping juice on his chest.

Gavin was right. Ryan _did_ like this magic trick. He liked it too much. And it made him realize why Jeremy was special. It was because Ryan wanted to fuck him. Because he was a grade A creep. 

“Well, we should really be moving on,” Gavin announced brightly, “Me and my boi will go ahead while Jeremy takes a bath.”

Ryan’s eyes narrowed at him. _What is your game, Gavin Free?_

“G-Gavin!” Jeremy hissed, face red, “Th-That’s not-you’re not helping!”

“Pretty sure he is,” Michael snorted, “Based on the smolder.”

Ryan was completely confused. _What the fuck are they talking about?_ Jeremy glanced at him before leaning towards the other lads and whispering something to them. Gavin scowled and shook his head, whispering back. 

Ryan once again had no Earthly idea what was going on. He was struggling to focus on them anyway, the juice of the berries running down Jeremy’s torso catching his attention instead. He licked his suddenly very dry lips under the mask. _What a fucking creep I am, he lamented._

He stood up abruptly, suddenly feeling the need to leave, to get the fuck _out_ of there. He pulled on his pack and moved toward them. He gripped Michael’s shoulder and hauled him up. _We’re going ahead._

“Uh, o-okay,” Michael sputtered, scrambling to get his own pack, “Wh-Whatever you say, p-party leader.”

“But Micool!” Gavin called, “He’s-“

“Remember what Geoff said!” Jeremy hissed.

Gavin went silent with a small harrumph noise as Ryan stormed away from them. He dragged Michael along for some time before he let go, suddenly realizing what an asshole he was being. An asshole, a creep, and a weirdo all in one. Ryan was the total package.

“Um, V?” Michael mumbled, seeming to recognize that he’d calmed down some, “You alright, buddy?”

Ryan shook his head without thinking.

“Listen, Gavin didn’t mean anything by it,” Michael assured him, “He likes to try to help people. He’s a fucking idiot.”

Ryan stopped suddenly remembering what Gavin had said. _Speaking of fucking creeps!_ Ryan glared at Michael who shrank away from him, hands up. 

“S-Sorry, I’ll just sh-shut up,” he stammered.

Ryan removed his pack and shifted the Troodons to get out his notebook. He quickly scribbled out a note.

_Why did you have sex with Gavin then dump him like an asshole?_

“I-I d-didn’t dump him!” Michael protested, face red, “That’s not what happened!”

_Then why won’t you talk to him about it?_

Michael gave him a dry look.

“You really lecturing me on not talking, V?” He muttered.

Ryan blushed.

_I talk! I just don’t use verbal words!_

Michael conceded the point, looking away. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“I...we were both kinda drunk,” he confessed quietly, “And I...felt so bad. I took advantage of him being drunk! There’s no way he’d do that sober!”

He covered his face and Ryan wondered why the words felt so strangely familiar. He wrote a new note and tapped Michael’s head.

_He likes you though. He thinks you don’t like him._

Michael’s eyes went wide and looked up at Ryan in surprise.

“R-Really?” He whispered, looking hopeful.

Ryan smiled fondly and nodded before ruffling Michael’s beanie, skewing it on his head. _Of course really. He’s Gavin and you’re “Micool”. Idiot._ Michael was blushing brightly as he grumpily fixed his beanie. 

“Am I getting love advice from a fucking mute right now?” He grumbled.

_I’m not a mute,_ Ryan didn’t write or say. Michael fidgeted nervously a moment.

“V...can we go back?” He mumbled, “I wanna talk to Gavin.”

Ryan’s heart squeezed and he nodded. _Of course, buddy._ He slipped his notebook away, careful of the Troodons and led the way back. He thought maybe he preferred Gavin with Michael over Jeremy for some reason. They thankfully hadn’t gone that far, but they weren’t where they’d left them. Right, Jeremy was going to bathe in the nearby stream.

He was about to sit to wait for them, but Michael walked toward the stream with purpose. Apparently he was so focused on his mission now that he didn’t care if Jeremy was naked in a stream. Ryan on the other hand cared entirely too much. He turned his head downward as they got closer. _Don’t look!_ There was a splashing noise, likely Jeremy as they got near enough to be seen. _Don’t look!_

“Uh, what’re you two doing?” Gavin questioned.

“Gavin, I need to talk to you!” Michael blurted, “Please switch with Vagabond.”

Ryan moved toward Gavin who stood and sat with his back to the stream. He watched Michael dragging off a very confused Gavin. Ryan was sweating badly again. He took off his pack to retrieve his notebook. He hoped doodling would distract him from Jeremy’s very bare, very wet body behind him. Several larger splashes sounded behind him like footsteps. 

“E-Easy there!” Jeremy stammered, “V! Uh, l-little help?”

_Goddamnit, I’m trying not to look!_

“Jesus you’re spiky,” Jeremy observed shakily, “V! What do I do?!”

Ryan stood and turned, putting up a hand to block his creepy eyes from Jeremy’s body. The Pachycephalosaurus or Pachy, as Gavin called it, was easily identified by its thick domed and spiky head. Jeremy was hesitantly backing away from it, but it was following. 

“P-Pachy, right?” Jeremy muttered, “I-I don’t remember what Gavin said about them!”

It looked like it was preparing to whack its head against Jeremy’s side like they’d seen others do to each other and other dinos. Ryan moved forward, trying to hurry without startling it, but it swung its head before he made it to the water’s edge. Jeremy grunted as the spikes stabbed into his side and clamped his arm around its neck.

“Berries!” He hissed, “Hurry!”

Ryan pulled out the baggie of the knockout berries from his jacket and proceeded to stuff the whole lot into the dino’s mouth as it struggled against Jeremy’s hold. It passed out and Jeremy dragged it onto solid ground before releasing it. 

Ryan immediately went for his first aid kit while Jeremy sat on the towel he’d laid out. He sat next to him, quickly wiping at the little holes in his side with disinfectant wipes. _What if he gets infected from this?_ The water is probably filled with bacteria. Using it to wash was one thing, but it getting in open wounds was probably bad. 

Ryan’s hands shook as he dabbed on antibiotic. None of them were very wide, though a few looked quite deep. He fumbled with the butterfly bandages on the bigger ones and gently pressed regular bandages on the smaller ones. When Jeremy was properly patched up, Ryan suddenly put his arms around his neck, pulling him to his chest and burying his face in his purple hair.

“I-I’m okay, V,” Jeremy assured him, “Y-You’re getting wet.”

_I don’t care! It hurt you because I wasn’t fast enough! What if I hadn’t gotten the berries in time? It could’ve really, really hurt you or even killed you!_ Jeremy put his arms around Ryan’s waist, hugging him back tightly. 

“D-Do you still n-not understand?” He cried into his chest, “Y-You even seem to want it, b-but you still act like you can’t c-comprehend it!”

He pulled back and Ryan looked at his teary eyes, feeling hopeless. _I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m sorry._ Jeremy’s hands suddenly grasped his face and pulled him down. He jolted and froze in surprise. Even with the fabric of the mask between their lips, there could be no doubt that Jeremy was kissing him.


	10. Chapter 10

Ryan stared with wide eyes. Jeremy was kissing him. _Someone wants to kiss me. **Jeremy** wants to kiss me._

Ryan’s brain was sparking, trying to jumpstart to process this information. This went against everything he knew about himself. 

Before he’d gone completely nonverbal, he’d only had hookups, wherein he forced himself to act normal for a night just to get the human touch he was so utterly desperate for. But Jeremy hadn’t seen the normal act. He’d only seen Ryan hiding behind his armor, his mask. The masked weirdo who couldn’t handle people seeing his emotions. 

He’d seen him freak out, seen him run into a tree, and had definitely seen how fucking stupid he was. And yet _this_ is who he wanted to kiss. _Why? How could he possibly want this?_

Jeremy pulled back, shaking Ryan from his daze. He looked up at Ryan, his eyes shining.

“Please just understand!” He cried, “I’m trying so hard to make you understand!”

He buried his face in Ryan’s chest, clinging tightly to his jacket. Ryan held him gently as his brain did its best to catch up. Not only did Jeremy want to kiss Ryan, _Ryan_ wanted to kiss _Jeremy._ It wasn’t just his attractiveness that made him special to Jeremy, he also really liked him. Jesus, he had a massive crush on Jeremy and he was only just now realizing it. 

_I’m an idiot. I’m actually a fucking idiot._ He held Jeremy closer. How long had he had this crush? Probably since they met. Ryan recalled liking Jeremy after the first meeting. Jeremy pulled away, shivering from still being wet. He was pulling on his clothes as Ryan recalled their first meeting. 

_“So you got a big scar or something?” The short man with green hair questioned._

_He had one eyebrow up, elbow on the railing, chin in his hand. Just looking at Ryan with genuine curiosity. Ryan shook his head. He wasn’t sure why he bothered. The Fake AH Crew wasn’t likely to hire him again._

_“You really pretty under there?” The man asked._

_Ryan blushed horribly and shook his head. Definitely not. The man snorted, looking away._

_“Of course you’d say that,” He scoffed, “People are always their biggest critic.”_

_Ryan felt so fucking confused and embarrassed. The guy stood up straight, brown eyes sparkling suddenly._

_“Hey, you wanna see something cool?” He offered, grinning excitedly._

_Ryan’s heart fluttered. I mean, obviously. The man suddenly gripped the railing and lifted himself up, feet going in the air. Ryan’s eyes went wide and he reached out. We’re thirty stories up, you fucking dumbass, what are you doing?! The man laughed._

_“Don’t worry, V, I’m a professional,” he joked, “I can do it with my eyes closed.”_

_He lifted one hand and covered his eyes, grinning widely. Jesus fucking Christ! Ryan clutched his chest. This guy, I swear to fuck. I’m gonna have a heart attack!_

_“I can switch hands too!” The man announced._

_Don’t do that!_

The sounds of crashing footsteps interrupted the memory. They turned toward the sound of Gavin and Michael running towards them. They got to their feet in a hurry, going for their guns just as Gavin crashed through the tree line looking disheveled and panicked. 

“This is definitely not my fault!” He shouted as he sprinted past them.

Michael crashed through while they were still reeling from Gavin’s appearance. He looked equally disheveled, but instead of panicked, he looked pissed off.

“This is all Gavin’s fault!” He yelled as he surged past.

Ryan’s day could be going better. Just as he started to wonder why he couldn’t hear more footsteps, a Pteranodon swooped out from the trees, screeching loudly. It was easily identified by its long, curved beak and head crest. Its crest and body were smaller, indicating it was a female and a picture began to form in his mind. One that was pointing to Gavin getting his ass kicked. 

The Pteranodon swooped down toward them, apparently recognizing them as part of Gavin’s pack. Ryan tackled Jeremy out of the way as the Pteranodon pulled back up again. They scrambled back to their feet and Ryan aimed while Jeremy went for his pack. Ryan’s eyes darted around, trying to find the thing.

“Don’t shoot!” Jeremy shouted, “Just hold still!”

_What?!_ The Pteranodon swooped from the trees and Ryan hesitated. _Why am I not shooting?!_ The Pteranodon was making a beeline right for him. _Move!_ His instincts screamed. _Jeremy said hold still!_ Some other part of him screamed. He flinched as the Pteranodon dove for him. 

He watched a rope loop around its beak and found Jeremy on the other end, yanking it. The Pteranodon yanked back and Jeremy’s boots skidded across the ground as it flapped its wings, trying to get away. Ryan, in his infinite wisdom, chose to loop his arms around Jeremy’s middle, instead of say _grab the fucking rope._

“Listen here you flying fucking lizard!” Jeremy growled, “I’m going to cook and eat you, you little shit!”

Ryan snorted, trying to stifle laughter as he planted his feet. 

“I’m higher on the food chain!” Jeremy insisted, grabbing the rope higher up and yanking.

Ryan lost it, bursting into his insane, breathy laugh. Jeremy jolted in surprise, almost dropping the rope. Ryan dropped his head on Jeremy’s shoulder, laughter definitely going on way longer than necessary. 

“Oh my god, your full laugh is so adorable!” Jeremy announced.

Ryan looked up in surprise, face going red. Jeremy grinned at him and yanked the dino down, smashing his boot into its head. _Jesus, Jeremy, I think I’m in love with you._ Ryan’s eyes went wide.

_Oh._


	11. Chapter 11

Ryan’s arms tightened around Jeremy who wheezed.

“Fuck!” He huffed, “Why?! What’d I do?!”

Ryan let go with one arm to bring his hand up and cup Jeremy’s face, turning it sideways. He leaned down and pressed his lips against his. Jeremy jolted in surprise again, but quickly recovered, reaching up to hold the back of Ryan’s head. Ryan’s heart was drumming in his chest, his heartbeat roaring in his ears. 

He opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. Though the stupid mask made it extremely difficult to actually makeout with Jeremy, he was giving it one hell of a go. He was forgetting something important, he thought. But who cared when Jeremy was mouthing back against him? Eager despite the mask, pressing firmly against him. Ryan’s brain was fuzzy. 

_Oh, right. I need oxygen._

He passed out and woke up no more than a few minutes later. Jeremy patted his cheek, face drawn up in worry. He jumped as Ryan’s eyes opened and puffed out a relieved sigh. He smacked Ryan’s arm as he helped him sit up. 

“You scared me!” He huffed. 

_Sorry._ Ryan went red. _I passed out from making out with him?! That’s so fucking embarrassing!_ Jeremy cleared his throat, drawing his attention. 

“P-Please don’t be mad,” he mumbled, “Y-You were gasping for breath, struggling, I-I didn’t know what else t-to do.”

_What is he-?_ Ryan froze. Suddenly he could smell everything better, he felt like he was breathing fresher air. He could feel a slight breeze ghost across his face. Bare. _My face is bare._ Ryan’s heart pounded in his chest. _He can see my emotions. He can see my stupid face!_

Around the time he went nonverbal, he’d also stopped letting people see his face. It was easier to not let anyone see his emotion if it was hidden behind the mask. Emotion was a weakness to be exploited. Or well, that’s what his father always said. Of course his father was extremely paranoid, so perhaps his advice was not the kind to take.

Ryan was hyperventilating, he realized, panicking over showing his face. Jeremy suddenly pushed his head down, forcing him to fold in on himself.

“Deep breaths, V,” he ordered, “You’re safe. No one’s going to hurt you.”

_Do you promise?_

“I-I made sure the others didn’t see,” Jeremy hastened to assure him, “I-I’m sorry...You, um, y-you’re....really pretty, b-by the way.”

Ryan’s apprehension turned into utter embarrassment. His blush returned in full force and he shook his head frantically. Jeremy’s eyes narrowed at him. 

“Do I have to kick your ass, Vagabond?” He grumbled, “You’re pretty. You’re just gonna have to deal with it.”

Ryan tugged the mask up to hide his blushing face. He immediately wished he hadn’t. It’d been some time since he’d gotten to enjoy being maskless outside. Jeremy stared at him intently for a moment before looking down at the ground.

“So...you understand now, right?” He mumbled, face pink.

Ryan nodded. _Well, I don’t understand why you would ever want me, but I get what you’ve been trying to say._ Jeremy visibly relaxed and smiled warmly at him. 

“Anyway, I have a lizard to cut up,” he grunted, turning to the Pteranodon, “You should probably check to see if that bonehead is going to wake up soon.”

As they turned to their different tasks, Wraptor and Feathers, the creatively named new Raptor, appeared, clicking as they approached Jeremy.

“Gee, now you show up,” Jereny grumbled, “Now that there’s meat to be had. You spoiled little shits. I outta toss you both in the ocean.”

Ryan snorted, stifling laughter again as he pulled out the blue raspberries to feed the Pachy. 

“Don’t laugh, you’ll encourage them,” Jeremy scolded.

Ryan laughed anyway.

After dealing with the dinos, they made their way back to the spot they were resting earlier. Gavin and Michael were speaking quietly to each other, foreheads pressed together. Ryan’s heart squeezed and he smiled. They were pretty cute, he had to admit. Though his fondness for them diminished when he came around and found Gavin cradling a blue egg in his arms.

_I fucking knew it, you little shit!_ Ryan stepped toward him and seized his ear, tugging it. _No more egg stealing, do you understand?_ Gavin whined, batting at Ryan’s hand.

“Okay, okay!” He huffed, “No egg stealing, got it! Lemme go!”

Ryan let go, though he really wanted to shake him. _Egg stealing, are you an idiot??_ Well, that was a dumb question. Obviously he was an idiot. Ryan sat down heavily, already exhausted with the day. He had dealt with entirely too much in one not even full day. 

“I wanna go back to the ship!” Gavin announced, “I think the dodos can help me hatch the egg. Then we can have a Pteranodon!”

Ryan almost got up to grab his ear again. _I outta cook and eat it right in front of you._

“But we still haven’t made it out of here,” Jeremy pointed out, “The mission isn’t over until we reach the end of the jungle. Forest. Whatever.”

“We could split up,” Gavin suggested brightly, “You two can go ahead and we’ll go back.”

“You’re abandoning the mission so soon?” Jeremy muttered dryly, “It hasn’t even been two days.”

“But science!” Gavin proclaimed, holding the egg aloft, “I don’t know how quickly it will become nonviable.” 

“Well, it’s up to V, don’t forget,” Jeremy grunted, turning to Ryan, “You wanna split?”

Gavin had the puppy eyes before Ryan even looked over at him. He sighed heavily and Gavin brightened.

“Yay!” He exclaimed, “Come on, boi! Let’s go!”

“Hold on,” Michael grumbled, “Let’s get most of the meat. It’s gonna go bad if we leave it in the freezer bags too long.”

They exchanged the Troodon still in Gavin’s pack for the meat and Ryan pointed to the Pachy. Gavin nodded, rubbing its head a bit and telling it that it was going with him. They waved goodbye to each other as they parted, Battle Buddies going North and Team Nice Dynamite going South. Gavin gave him a (not at all) discreet wink and a thumbs up. Ryan frowned at him. _What’s that all about?_

~

After the tent was set up, Jeremy fidgeted.

“I can sleep outside if you want,” he offered. 

Ryan shook his head. He could just sleep with the mask. They crawled into the tent and zipped it up. They took their shoes off and laid down on the open sleeping bag. There was a bit of an awkward silence as they nervously laid there. 

“Um, V, are we...t-together now?” Jeremy mumbled.

Ryan didn’t know. He shrugged, turning his head to Jeremy. Jeremy was blushing.

“I-I want to be,” he squeaked, “C-Can we be?”

Ryan nodded. Jeremy grinned and rolled over, pressing to Ryan’s side. Ryan hesitantly put his arm around him. 

“I’m so happy,” Jeremy admitted.

He snuggled his face into Ryan’s chest. Ryan smiled down at him. _What beautiful dream is this?_ He hoped he never woke up. 


	12. Chapter 12

It took two more days to reach the end of the jungle. Other than one tense bathing session and a few not so tense encounters with dinosaurs, little else happened of note. They were certainly getting more comfortable with the island. It was definitely time for everything to go insane.

Once they broke the treeline and could properly see what lay beyond it, they found themselves looking at a river and waterfalls, separating them from wide rocky grasslands. To the North of the grasslands were the snowy peaks reaching to the sky, surrounded by a huddle of evergreen trees. To the East were towering redwood trees, separated from them by a much larger river than the Northern one. Between the two rivers was a mountain, not as big as the snow peaks, but still very large, blocking what may be lying to the Northeast. 

“Is this possible?” Jeremy muttered, “This many diverse biomes so close together?”

Ryan shrugged his shoulders. _Do I look like a biology major? Is this even biology? Geology? Fuck, I don’t know._ He focused instead on the dinosaurs, since that was something he knew. 

The easiest to see and identify immediately were the spiny Stegosaurus, the tri-horned Triceratops, and the long-necked Brontosaurus. But anyone could identify those, even Jeremy leaned over and said the same. However, he managed to spot the two-horned Carnotaurus, the armored Ankylosaurus, and the crested Dilophosaurus. The Dilophosaurus was very disappointing to Jeremy who of course had only seen popular culture’s version of them.

“Fucking bullshit,” he grumbled, “How did Jurassic Park fuck up everything??”

Ryan laughed, ruffling his hair. _Dork._ Jeremy pouted for a bit while Ryan scribbled down some notes on the dinos. _Should’ve had Gavin come after all, now I have to do the writing._ Jeremy gasped, suddenly sitting up on his knees. Ryan looked over at him to see him staring at something in the distance. Ryan followed his line of sight. 

“Horses!” Jeremy squealed, looking absolutely delighted, “Oh, they’re so pretty!”

Ryan raised an eyebrow at him. _Horses._ His eyes looked him up and down. _**You** like horses? You’re 5’4’’, how do you even get on a horse??_ He thought back to how many times he’d seen Jeremy scale fences or climb trees. Jeremy was a gymnast, so maybe it wasn’t a problem for him? 

“I’m taming that one!” Jeremy suddenly announced before leaping to his feet.

_What?!_ Jeremy took off before Ryan could stop him. _Damnit, Jeremy!_ Ryan scrambled up after him, easily catching up and hooked an arm around him. Jeremy grunted, struggling a second.

“V~!” He whined, “They’re gonna get away!”

_What are you, Gavin? Don’t be an idiot! Those things are massive!_ Jeremy turned his sweet brown eyes up to look at Ryan. _Oh no._ He sniffled. _No no no! Don’t you do that!_

“Vagabond, please?” He pleaded, clasping his hands together.

Ryan looked away. _Damnit! He’s gonna get trampled under their hooves!_

“I’ll be safe, I promise!” Jeremy assured him, “I’ve ridden a lot of wild horses before!”

Ryan frowned down at him. _Really?_ Jeremy nodded. Ryan sighed and let him go. He shot off toward the horses again, slowing down as he got closer. Ryan stayed back, glancing around for threats. They were mostly in the clear it seemed. 

Jeremy did a few flips and Ryan wondered if they were necessary until he used the momentum off them to soar into the air. _Damn, how did he do that?_ He landed on a horse’s back and gripped its mane as it reared back. Ryan winced in sympathy as he landed. No way that was comfortable on his balls. It bucked, trying to jostle Jeremy from its back, but he moved with it, knees tight against the horse as he bounced with the motions. 

Ryan was _not_ watching the way his hips moved with sudden intense focus. He was watching the way his _ass_ moved with sudden intense focus. Up, down, up, down, up, down. _I’d be easier to ride._ Ryan cleared his throat, blushing and looked away. _Fucking Christ._

Jeremy was apparently owner of a horse after a few short minutes. He rode it back to Ryan with a wild grin. He held his hand out to Ryan as it stopped in front of him. 

“Wanna a ride?” He laughed.

_Yes!_ Ryan cleared his throat, looking at the horse nervously.

“What, you haven’t ridden?” Jeremy asked, sounding surprised, “The survivalist guy hasn’t ridden.”

Ryan shook his head. _We never had far to go._

“Well, do you trust me?” Jeremy prompted, smiling gently at him.

Ryan looked at his outstretched hand. _Maybe?_ He took Jeremy’s hand. _I definitely want to._ Jeremy hoisted him up and Ryan got his leg over the horse. The horse shifted and Ryan leapt closer to Jeremy, squeezing him around the middle. Jeremy chuckled and looked up at him.

“I like when you cling to me, Vagabond,” he teased. 

“Ryan,” Ryan croaked in response, startling them both.

Jeremy looked at him with wide eyes a moment before he smiled and reached up to pull Ryan into a kiss. Ryan wanted to pull his mask down to kiss him, but couldn’t make himself. As they pulled away, Jeremy kept his forehead pressed to Ryan’s a moment. He looked down and away, his face going pink.

“I-I’m really happy...Ryan,” he mumbled.

Ryan’s heart exploded in his chest and he pressed his lips back to Jeremy’s. _Me too, Jeremy. I’m so fucking happy._ He assumed soon something terrible would happen. He was pretty sure he wasn’t allowed to be happy.

~

They retreated back into the forest to set up camp. After some very strict instruction from Jeremy, their carnivores backed off the horse. Ryan wondered how many animals they’d end up leaving behind if they ever got the hell off the island. It didn’t look good for them, but he wasn’t ready to tell anyone he was pretty sure they lived there now. 

It sucked, being forced back to the Stone Age. Though he had to admit, there were worse people to be stuck with. _Worse asses to be stuck with,_ he thought as he watched Jeremy bend over. _Damn, I’m like a creepy fucking teenager around him._ Jeremy straightened back up and the strip of skin on his lower back was like the sweetest forbidden fruit. 

Ryan blinked rapidly, sitting up. _Wait a second, that’s **my** fruit now. Not forbidden, it’s mine. _Jeremy turned and stretched, lifting his arms up above his head and his happy trail became visible. _Mine._ Ryan stood abruptly, everything that was in his lap now on the ground. Jeremy looked up in alarm as Ryan stormed over to him and grabbed his wrist.

“V, what’re you-?” He started, but was interrupted by Ryan yanking him over to the tent.

Ryan unzipped it and all but shoved Jeremy inside before getting in himself and zipping it closed. Jeremy was looking at him in confusion and alarm.

“Wh-What? What’d I-I do?” He sputtered.

Ryan crawled over him and pressed him down firmly over the sleeping bag. Jeremy swallowed nervously.

“Uh, V-R-Ryan, I-I don’t know if you r-realize what you’re doing,” He stammered.

Ryan frowned, then pulled back. _Does he not want to?_

“I-It’s just, I-I’ll...g-get hard if you keep d-doing that,” Jeremy mumbled, looking away.

He was blushing furiously. Ryan was confused. _I mean, that’s what I was going for?_ Ryan rubbed his forehead in confusion. _We’ve miscommunicated again, haven’t we?_

“N-Not to s-say you would have to d-do anything about it,” Jeremy quickly added, “O-Obviously I-I wouldn’t want to coerce you into h-having sex with me. Oh god, th-that sounded terrible. I-I just d-didn’t-“

“Shh.”

Jeremy’s mouth snapped shut and Ryan leaned back over him. He hesitantly tugged his mask down to press a kiss to Jeremy’s lips. _Talking is never enough for us, is it? We have to see it._ He ran his hands down Jeremy’s sides to his hips as he opened his mouth. Jeremy jolted like he was surprised, but quickly responded, opening his own mouth and pushing at Ryan’s jacket. 

Ryan pulled back to pull off his jacket and shirt while Jeremy half sat up to get rid of his. They smashed back together, hands roaming over their newly bared torsos. Ryan suddenly felt frantic, like he’d been waiting forever for this. He tugged Jeremy’s belt, yanking it open with shaking hands and practically tore open his jeans. 

Speaking of things he’d been waiting forever for.

He yanked Jeremy’s jeans and boxers down and twisted him. _Let me see your stupid tattoo already!_ Jeremy did put his ass in the air for him, but Ryan was pretty sure that wasn’t to show off his ink. Ryan squinted in the darkness. _A heart?_ He twisted away, fumbling for the flashlight to click it on. 

A heart, with an arrow through it and a little scroll like banner over the bottom of it. 

“Fun sized,” he read.

_Really?_ Jeremy smacked his own ass to cover the ink. 

“Oh my god!” He cried, “I never should’ve taken that bet! Don’t look at it! I’m so fucking embarrassed! Turn the light off!”

Ryan snorted, trying to stop himself from bursting into laughter as he clicked the light off. 

“Fuck you!” Jeremy grumbled miserably into the sleeping bag.

Ryan snorted, leaning over him to press his hips against his ass. Jeremy shuddered.

“I-I d-definitely meant fuck _me,”_ he groaned, “M-My bag, left side pocket.”

Ryan leaned away to dig his hand into said pocket. He was amused to find lube and condoms inside. 

“D-Don’t laugh!” Jeremy huffed, “S-Safety first!”

Ryan laughed as he clicked open the cap on the tiny lube bottle. He rubbed a few drops of the lube between his fingers before rubbing them over Jeremy’s asshole. Jeremy shuddered again, back dipping to push his ass out. His jeans trapped around his knees were making it difficult for him to spread his legs, but his thick thighs trembled with the desire to do so. 

He puffed out a sigh as Ryan pushed a finger inside him. He sounded like he’d been waiting forever too. Ryan pressed the second finger inside him as easily as the first and Jeremy rocked back against his hand. 

“C’mon, Ry, hurry!” He whined, “So fucking long I’ve been waiting for you to get your head out of your ass. I, fuck, I thought you were ace! You’re just a fucking idiot! Hurry up!”

Ryan grunted. _Rude._ He pushed a third finger inside him and Jeremy groaned, his body pushing back urgently. Ryan bit his lip as he watched Jeremy writhing.

“Please! I-I can take it, please!” Jeremy begged, “I n-need you!”

Ryan wanted to make him wait, but had no capacity to do so himself. He hurriedly got his own pants open and nearly lost the condom picking it up with his lubed hand. _Jesus Christ, pull it together, Haywood, you look like a virgin._ He rolled the condom on, wiping as much of the lube off his hand onto himself as he could before pressing up against Jeremy’s wet asshole. 

Jeremy jolted, pushing up onto his hands as Ryan pressed the head of his cock into him.

“Holy fuck!” He cried, “Oh my god!”

_What?_ Ryan wondered hazily around the daze of getting his dick into Jeremy.

“M-More lube,” Jeremy huffed, “Y-You need more lube!”

Ryan picked the lube back up. _Shouldn’t we be more careful with such a finite resource?_ He rubbed more on himself and pressed back to Jeremy’s hole. Jeremy huffed out a few deep breathsas Ryan pressed back inside him. 

“Fuck!” Jeremy groaned, dropping down to his elbows, “Fucking Christ!”

Ryan pushed in slowly, breathing heavily while a high-pitched whine left Jeremy’s throat. He leaned over him to press a kiss to his ear as he pushed flush against his ass. _Fucking Christ, you’re tight._

“Fucking Christ, you’re big,” Jeremy grunted. 

Ryan shuddered, rolling his hips. Jeremy groaned.

“Fuck me! Hurry!” He cried, rocking back against him.

Ryan pulled back to take his hips in his hands and thrust slow and deep a few times, letting Jeremy adjust. Jeremy fumbled for one of his hands, putting it on his hair. Ryan shoved his face down into the sleeping bag, gripping his hair tightly before rearing back to slam into him. Jeremy moaned and Ryan squeezed his hip as he started fucking into him. 

His thrusts were quick and sharp against him, each muted slap jostling him forward. Ryan growled as he leaned into him. Jeremy clutched the sleeping bag in both fists, moaning and sobbing and begging for more. Ryan let go of his hip to wrap a hand around his cock, each thrust pushing him into Ryan’s hand. 

He cried out Ryan’s name as he came, tightening around his cock. Ryan moaned, gripping his hips again as he fucked desperately into him. It didn’t take a lot, which Ryan was half grateful for. He nearly collapsed over Jeremy, exhausted. He managed to get the condom off and tied before he fell to the side, pulling Jeremy to his chest. Jeremy struggled a moment, getting his pants back up before he settled. 

Ryan kissed the back of his neck as he caught his breath. Jeremy gave a little pleased hum. 

“Fun sized,” Ryan snickered in his ear.

“Sh-Shut up!” Jeremy huffed, “N-No more talking for you!”

Ryan laughed and pressed another kiss to his ear. 


	13. Chapter 13

Ryan woke up to a hand in his pants. Jeremy almost got his face sliced off as he pulled Ryan’s cock out of already opened his jeans. Ryan blinked heavily, sitting up on his elbows. _What the fuck are you doing?_ Jeremy leaned down and licked the head of his cock. _Good answer,_ Ryan thought as he shuddered.

Jeremy’s mouth closed around him and he puffed out a tiny moan. _Really, **really** good answer. _Jeremy moved, tongue curling under Ryan’s cock as he sank down several inches. Ryan reached for his hair, tightening a fist in the purple strands and rolled his hips up. Jeremy choked then groaned and his ass went up like he wanted to get fucked at both ends.

_Hell no. No one else is getting you._ Ryan pushed his head down as he thrust up, growling low in his throat. _Mine._ He fucked up into Jeremy’s face, gripping his hair tightly as Jeremy choked and moaned around him. _Fucking slut._ Ryan came down his throat, shoving Jeremy’s face into his lap before he let go.

Jeremy pulled up, coughing and sputtering and Ryan winced. _Jesus, is he alright? Too rough._ He sat up better to reach for him and do what, he didn’t know. Jeremy swayed a moment before focusing on Ryan. _Fuck, I fucked him up._ Jeremy grinned widely.

“That was amazing!” He exclaimed.

He held up his hand, sticky with his own cum. Ryan covered his eyes with one hand, shaking his head. _Fucking Christ, Jeremy._

After cleaning the jizz off the sleeping bag, they loaded their bags on the horse. It was a pretty horse, Ryan had to admit. Gray with a darker gray speckled pattern. Its mane and tail were black and shiny. 

Ryan cautiously patted its nose. It was taller than him. Something he found unnerving in a creature with such massive legs and hooves. _Please don’t trample me or Jeremy, okay?_ The horse tossed its head and snorted as if to say “no promises, buddy”. 

“You getting along with Herb now?” Jeremy teased as he came over.

_You named it Herb? What kind of name is that?_ Jeremy blushed.

“You think it’s stupid,” he mumbled.

Ryan shook his head, ruffling Jeremy’s hair. _If you like it, then it’s not stupid._ He ran his fingers through Jeremy’s hair. Jeremy looked up at him, his sweet eyes sparkling as he smiled. Ryan cupped his jaw, thumb brushing over his cheek. He leaned down, pressing his lips to Jeremy’s. _I could kiss you all day and forget about the entire world. And I would do so happily._

“So. North or South?” Jeremy prompted, “Do we see how close we can get or do we report back?”

_Neither. I wanna stay right here in this little bubble with you forever._ Ryan looked past the treeline. They should at least see how easy it was to cross the river and the cliffs. He gestured North. Jeremy nodded and rounded up his pair of raptors to follow them across the open grassy area. They didn’t have to, but they held hands. 

They skirted around the dinos that were about as they headed toward the river and even going out of their way, it didn’t take long to get there. This river also had Coelacanth, Sabertooth Salmon, and Piranhas, unfortunately, but they found a rocky area they could cross over without stepping in the water. The raptors were agile and followed Jeremy with ease, whereas the horse was much clumsier and more opposed to the notion. Ryan could relate.

After reaching the other side, they stopped a moment to decide the best path across the plains to the evergreens. The plains were smaller than the forest, but inhabited by large dinos that could easily trample them. As long as they steered clear of the carnivores and tried not to get in anyone’s way, they should be able to make it across. 

As they walked forward, hugging the cliff of the large plateau in the center of the plains, Ryan was struck by how few of the dinos seemed to care they existed. He supposed it made sense, in a way. Most of them probably didn’t have the mental capacity for curiosity and unless they caught a carnivore’s eye, they really held no gain for the dinos. They were just more creatures in their world, minding their own business. It was certainly preferable to being attacked on sight for no reason. 

Partway through their slow and steady route was when shit hit the fan. It started when a herd of ostrich-like dinos called Gallimimus zoomed by them. Ryan immediately turned, trying to usher the whole caravan back the way they came. The roar of the dino after the Gallimimus was not that far off from the Jurassic Park version of it. Jeremy’s eyes went wide and he immediately leapt on the horse and yanked Ryan up after him. 

“WHY THE FUCK IS THAT THE ONE THEY GOT RIGHT?!” He shouted as he kicked his heels. 

_More fossils._ Ryan held tightly to his waist with one arm as he looked back at the pursuing dinosaur. _Mmhm. Yes. Yep. Uh-huh. Definitely. Yes. Yes, there was no doubt about it._

_** FUCK! ** _

The Tyrannosaurus was about as scary as could be imagined. Massive with huge, wicked looking teeth. Oh, they do have feathers. _Fuck! Let’s hope it’s not interested in us._ Ryan tapped Jeremy’s side, gesturing off to their left. Jeremy turned the horse, veering to the left. 

The Rex turned to follow them. _Ah, shit_. Ryan tapped again, Jeremy turned, and again the Rex followed. They were headed back toward the evergreens, but the Rex seemed hyper-focused on them. They were its meal now, which was probably due to the fact there were several of them and they definitely couldn’t outrun it. 

Ryan pulled his handgun, but he was less than optimistic. He was a good shot, but on a horse while the target also ran? He wasn’t sure he could make that shot. Wasn’t sure one shot could do it. They had to stop if he was going to get the shot off and then they could only pray one shot to the brain would kill the thing. The eye socket was his best bet to get to the brain, since he wasn’t sure the bullet could break through its bone. 

“Stop,” Ryan shouted at Jeremy.

“Are you insane?!” Jeremy shouted back, “We can-I-I mean we probably can lose it in the trees!”

_And run into what else as a result?_

“Do you trust me?” Ryan asked, squeezing his waist.

Jeremy glanced back at him, face twisted. _No!_ He silently seemed to scream. He set his jaw and pulled the horse to a stop. Ryan whipped his gun up to the approaching dinosaur, aiming at its eye. 

_“One shot, boy,”_ the memory of his father muttered in his ear, _“Make it count.”_

_Yes, sir._

He fired.


	14. Chapter 14

_ Bullseye. _

A half-aborted roar choked out of the Rex as the bullet passed through its eye into its brain. It wobbled, stumbling to a halt. Ryan aimed again, this time for the other eye and fired. The Rex started to fall.

“Move!” Ryan hissed.

Jeremy jerked the horse to the side and Ryan, unbalanced and not holding onto Jeremy, bounced and was left behind. He fell hard on his ass with a grunt. He had just enough time to throw up his arms, one to guard his face and one to guard his ribs as the Rex fell over him. 

He recognized the tell-tale crack of his arms as they broke before the pain shot through him. They squashed against his face and ribs and he cried out in pain. Present day blurred with the past as the Rex’s body crushed him. Was it a Rex or a bear corpse on him? 

_“Father, help me!” Young Ryan begged._

_“Get yourself out,” His father growled, “If you’re too weak to get out yourself, you deserve to die. Pathetic.”_

_“P-Please, my arm!” Young Ryan pleaded, “I-It hurts! I c-can’t move!”_

_“Weak.”_

_He heard his father’s boots crunching on undergrowth as he walked away, leaving Ryan trapped._

“Please, don’t leave me!” Ryan cried.

“Ryan, I’m not going to leave you!”

_Jeremy?_ Ryan couldn’t see anything, couldn’t move. 

“Just hang on, this thing is fucking huge!”Jeremy grunted. 

Ryan let out a truly pathetic wail. 

“I-It’s okay, Ry, I-I’m gonna get you out!” Jeremy insisted, voice strained.

Ryan sobbed, unable to really focus on anything, but the tears flowing out of him and the tight feeling in his chest. _He’s going to leave me._

Eventually the Rex moved, its body rolling off Ryan enough for him to see Jeremy pushing with his shoulder, face twisted up in concentration. There was a yank on the corpse and a final shove from Jeremy that rolled it completely off Ryan. Jeremy huffed in a few breaths as he turned to Ryan. 

“Are you...okay?” He panted, quickly crawling closer.

“No!” Ryan sobbed.

Jeremy winced, looking at his arms.

“That-That looks bad,” he muttered.

“Jeremy!” Ryan cried, trying his best to reach for him. 

Jeremy jolted in surprise, but leanedcloser, putting his arms around Ryan’s neck.

“Careful of your arms,” He murmured, holding him close, “I’ve got you, baby.”

Ryan cried for a bit before Jeremy coaxed him up into a sitting position.

“W-We gotta get your arms splinted...r-right?” Jeremy mumbled, “I, er, I don’t really know that much about first aid.”

“T-Trees,” Ryan sniffled.

Jeremy looked back South, then looked North. 

“We’re closer to the evergreens,” He grunted, getting up.

He put his arms under Ryan’s armpits to haul him to his feet. He rounded up the raptors, who were eating the Rex and the horse who was still tied to the corpse. He put his hands on Ryan’s waist and hoisted him up side-saddle on the horse before leaping up behind him. 

“It’s gonna jostle you a lot,” he muttered, “So it’ll hurt, but we’ll get there faster.”

Ryan dropped his head onto Jeremy’s shoulder, still crying. Jeremy pulled him close, arms going around him to grip the horse’s mane. He kicked his heels and they shot forward. Ryan couldn’t stop crying. _He’s going to leave._

~

Jeremy winced as he tightened the tie on Ryan’s wrist. His hands were shaking. He clearly hated tying the splints, but was struggling through it for Ryan’s sake. Ryan hated how distressed he was. He hated how weak and pathetic _he_ was, needing Jeremy’s help. _He’s going to leave me._

“H-How’s that?” Jeremy murmured when he finished tying the splints off. 

“Good.”

“I-I don’t have anything f-for pain,” Jeremy mumbled, “Maybe the snow? I-It’s not far off now. I-I could go-“

Anxiety surged in Ryan and he sat up, trying to reach for Jeremy again.

“N-no!” Ryan cried, “D-Don’t go!”

Jeremy jumped, startled.

“O-Okay, we can both go,” He offered instead, “But maybe you should rest a bit first. I’ll set up the tent.”

Ryan sat against the tree, watching Jeremy set up camp through his tears. _He’s going to leave me to die just like father did. Please, I don’t want to lose you._ He didn’t even care about his broken arms or whether he would die. He just didn’t want Jeremy to leave him. 

He recalled how terrified he’d been as a kid. 14 years old, arm broken, and trapped under a massive bear corpse. He had struggled for some time, sobbing pathetically, before his salvation came, unexpectedly, in the form of another bear. 

Completely by accident, the bear saved Ryan by rolling over the dead one. Ryan had scurried away from it while it nosed at the dead one. He hurried back to the camp and his father, choosing to omit the fact he hadn’t gotten out on his own. His father had smiled at him, looking legitimately happy that he was alive. 

Ryan stifled tears as his father had splinted his arm. Tears were a sign of weakness. He had to pretend better now, to ensure his father continued to believe he was strong. He had to put on a mask, had to hide his emotions. He had to pretend to keep his father from leaving him.

But now, in present day, everything was ruined. He’d dropped the mask. Jeremy saw how weak his was. He would leave him now. He couldn’t take back the weakness. He couldn’t pretend it wasn’t there, Jeremy had seen all of it. The mask, physical and emotional, had dropped and the weak little crybaby Ryan had tried so hard to hide, was out in the open for him to see.

Once camp was set up, Jeremy helped him into the tent and pushed him down on the sleeping bag. He took his boots off before sitting next to his hip.

“What can I do?” He whispered, “What do you need?”

“Y-You,” Ryan choked out, “St-Stay, p-please!”

All Ryan could do was beg him to pity him enough to stay. Jeremy carefully moved his arm away from his side and laid down next to him, laying his head on his chest. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he assured him.

_Please, don’t lie._

“P-Promise?” Ryan mumbled.

“I promise,” Jeremy confirmed, “If you don’t see me, I promise I’ll be back soon. I won’t leave you permanently.”

Ryan wanted to hold him tightly, wanted to force him to stay, but his arms were weak and every movement caused a fresh spike of pain. If he was still, he could almost ignore it. Pain was, after all, an old friend at this point. He was almost as used to it as he was abandonment. 


	15. Chapter 15

Ryan panicked before he fully regained consciousness, aching arms flailing about for Jeremy. Jeremy grunted as one of Ryan’s splints nailed him in the forehead.

“Relax, baby,” he soothed, sitting up and putting Ryan’s arms back down, “I’ve got you, don’t hurt yourself. I’m right here.”

Ryan whimpered pathetically and Jeremy laid back down, head on his chest again.

“I...I won’t abandon you, Ryan,” he murmured, “I know words don’t mean shit for your anxiety, but I won’t. I was...I promise I won’t leave you. Except maybe to pee.”

Ryan chuckled a bit through his tears. Jeremy rubbed soothing circles over his chest. 

“So, forward or backward?” He questioned, “Technically we haven’t finished our mission, but I’m very worried about you being injured. We don’t know what’s ahead of us.”

Ryan sniffled, trying to get ahold of himself. He wasn’t sure. He didn’t know which was better. He was going to be a burden either way, but at least they knew what was in the route back to the boat. He hated the idea of going back before the mission was over though. 

“We can take a quick peek ahead,” Jeremy suggested, “Just to see if there’s anything about in this forest and then we can turn back. How’s that?”

Ryan nodded agreement. Jeremy shifted to look up at him.

“How bad does it hurt?” He mumbled, looking worried.

Ryan shrugged his shoulders. It wasn’t so bad. 

“Do you think the snow will help?” Jeremy pressed, “I mean, it could numb it, but it won’t last long.”

Ryan nodded and Jeremy searched his eyes for a moment. 

“Tell me what else I can do,” he whispered, “I feel so fucking helpless. I hate this so much.”

He wiped roughly at his tears. _Why would **you** feel helpless? _Ryan wondered.

“I just really hate seeing you in pain,” Jeremy sniffled, “I don’t want you to be hurt.”

He buried his head in Ryan’s chest. Ryan carefully laid his arm around Jeremy’s waist. _Why?_ Jeremy cried for awhile before he tired himself out. _Why? Shouldn’t you be leaving now that you’ve seen how pathetic I am?_ Jeremy gripped his shirt tightly. 

“I-I was abandoned too,” he choked out around his tears, “Wh-When I was younger, my mom...Sh-She left me with m-my dad. This is why I-I won’t ever leave you!”

He looked back up at Ryan with pleading eyes.

“Please, _please_ understand,” he mumbled thickly, “I...I love you.”

Ryan’s eyes widened in surprise and his face went bright red. 

“I-I love you too!” He rasped.

Jeremy searched his eyes again before smiling brightly.

“I’m so happy,” he murmured, wiping at his tears.

He slid upward and kissed Ryan lightly on the lips. Ryan pressed back eagerly. Kissing Jeremy was even better when they were in love. Jeremy giggled against his mouth, running his hands over Ryan’s hair.

“You’re mine, how is this real?” He laughed.

Ryan’s blush quickly returned. Jeremy kissed his burning cheek. 

“I like getting to see you blushing so sweetly,” he teased.

Ryan went redder, wishing he could sink into the sleeping bag then right through the bottom of the tent into the ground. Jeremy rested his crossed arms on Ryan’s chest and rested his chin on his arms. Ryan smiled, awkwardly looking down at him. 

“Are you...happy too?” Jeremy mumbled, looking a bit apprehensive. 

Ryan nodded rapidly. _As long as you’re with me, I’m happy._ Jeremy smiled lightly before his face went sober and he shifted, resting his head on his arms. He was quiet a moment, staring at the wall of the tent.

“We’re never getting out of here, are we?” He whispered, “We’re stuck.”

Ryan shrugged and Jeremy sighed. 

“Well, it’s not so bad to be stuck with the one you love,” He mumbled.

Ryan nodded his agreement. It’s a lot less like you’re stuck, a lot more like you’re on a painful, terrible vacation. 

~

Mammals were the main feature of the evergreen forest. Moose, wolves, and sabertooth tigers were the ones Ryan could identify. There were more roaming around that he didn’t recognize, but most everything steered clear of the raptors. 

Once they got to snow, Jeremy packed it into some of their spare clothes and pressed the makeshift ice packs into Ryan’s splints. 

Ryan sighed, relaxing against the tree behind him as the cold helped soothed the pain. 

“Better?” Jeremy prompted.

Ryan nodded. Jeremy moved around, setting up camp again.

“I know we didn’t make it far,” he grunted, “But I think it’s best you rest a lot, right? At least the first few days.”

Ryan nodded. Jeremy gave him a weak smile as he finished setting up camp.

“Anything else I can do?” He mumbled.

“Come sit,” Ryan muttered, carefully lifting an arm to pat his lap.

Jeremy crawled over and nestled sideways between Ryan’s thighs, laying his head on Ryan’s chest. Ryan slowly moved his arms, one across Jeremy’s lap and the other behind him. He held Jeremy as well as he could and Jeremy held his shirt tightly. 

“I...don’t actually want to stay,” he admitted quietly, “I miss the internet.”

Ryan snorted. _Me too._

“And this place is terrifying!” Jeremy added, “Did you see that sabertooth monstrosity?!”

He buried his face in Ryan’s shirt.

“I wanna go home,” he mumbled miserably.

Ryan’s heart squeezed painfully and he carefully pulled Jeremy closer. _I’ll do my best to get you home. Though I’m fucking useless right now._


	16. Chapter 16

The raptors clicking woke Ryan up. He panicked to find Jeremy not next to him. 

_If you don’t see me, I promise I’ll be back soon._

But the raptors were alert and then the Troodon started screeching too. Ryan sat up, hurrying to grab his handgun and open the zipper. 

“Ry, stay in there,” Jeremy hissed, “It’s a human!”

Ryan paused, listening to what indeed sounded like boots walking toward the camp. The boots stopped not far off and Ryan could hear the soft growling of wolves. There was a shrill whistle and shuffling from the raptors.

“That was not the retreat whistle, you fucking assholes!” Jeremy snapped.

The sound of vaguely familiar laughter filled the air. 

“Glad you’re amused, asshole,” Jeremy grumbled, “Who the hell are you?!”

“Good question,” the newcomer called out, “Are you real?”

“Er, yes?” Jeremy answered.

Ryan could hear him shifting toward the tent, putting himself between it and the voice. 

“I think people called me Ray,” the voice offered loudly, “Are the little ones yours?”

_The Troodon._

“Or the one in the tent’s?” Ray added.

Ryan pulled the mask up and unzipped the tent. _No point in hiding now._ He struggled to his feet while Jeremy remained focused on the new guy. The guy was crouched in front of the Troodon. He had patched up clothes and a wolf pelt over his shoulders. Behind him three alive wolves stood waiting for his command. He looked up and his eyebrows went up.

“Vagabond?” He grunted, squinting.

Jeremy and Ryan glanced at each other as the guy stood and walked over. He had black hair and dark eyes. Jeremy lowered his gun, but didn’t holster it as the guy squinted at Ryan. 

“Definitely him,” He murmured, “Those blues are hard to mistake when he also wears a damn mask. And the hair of course. Where’s his jacket? Oh, his arms are broken. Interesting. Who the hell is this guy then?”

Ray turned to Jeremy, squinting at him now. Jeremy glanced at Ryan in bafflement. 

“He can’t be his associate,” he continued, “He doesn’t have those. Is he from LS? Maybe they crash-landed here separately. Something familiar about how tiny he is.”

Jeremy blushed brightly.

“I-I’m not tiny!” He protested, “J-Just a bit short!”

Ray squeezed his bicep and Ryan stepped defensively forward.

“Yes, he’s right,” Ray muttered, “He’s quite muscly. Hips are a bit narrow though.”

Jeremy jolted as the man squeezed his hip and Ryan slapped his hand away, though he winced at the pain that shot up his arm. _Excuse you, that’s mine!_ Ray looked at his hand in surprise. 

“Ah, you must be real,” he concluded, “That hurt!”

He squeezed Ryan’s bicep next and then poked at Jeremy’s chest. He walked around them a few times, poking at them. He clearly hadn’t seen people in some time. He was curious, but seemed harmless. He brushed his fingers into Jeremy’s hair.

“Purple?” He muttered, “Is that normal? Damnit, I don’t remember. No, I can see his roots, must be dyed.”

He stood back to look them up and down.

“Right!” He shouted, “Who the hell are you?”

He directed the question at Jeremy.

“Er, Rimmy Tim?” Jeremy answered, glancing at Ryan nervously.

“Rimmy Tim, Rimmy Tim,” Ray muttered before his voice went loud again, “Yes, yes, the acrobatic burglar! You were on our radar.”

_Is he partially deaf? Why’d he start shouting suddenly?_

“Our?” Jeremy pressed.

“Yes, our,” Ray agreed, “Fake AH.”

He paused, brow furrowing. 

“Shit, they are still alive, right?” He mumbled, looking away, “Must be. None of them would die on Geoff’s watch.”

_Does he realize he’s talking out loud?_

“Whoa, whoa!” Jeremy exclaimed, grabbing his shoulder, “Are you BrownMan?!”

Ray brightened.

“Yes, that was my codename!” He answered cheerfully.

“H-Holy shit!” Jeremy shouted, “They said-they think you’re dead, man!”

Ray frowned, but his face cleared.

“Yes, well, that is expected,” he muttered, “My plane crashed into the fucking ocean after all.”

Ryan turned to the tent and retrieved the journal they found in the cave. He held it out. Ray took it, eyebrows going up.

“Oh, yes, right,” he mumbled, “I forgot I left this. They must have come looking for the damned plane. Well, that’s fucking unfortunate.”

“Why is that unfortunate?” Jeremy asked.

“Huh?” Ray grunted, looking up, “Oh, I think I said that out loud. Yes, my mouth is moving. That’s probably not good.”

He let out a burst of insane cackling before his face flattened again. Ryan tugged Jeremy a bit closer to him. _This guy has lost it._

“The plane fucking crashed,” he explained loudly, “It’s destroyed.”

“How bad?” Jeremy questioned, “Maybe Jack can fix it?”

“Jack is here?!” Ray demanded, reaching toward Jeremy.

Ryan pushed Jeremy behind him and Ray blinked up at him in surprise. 

“Defensive,” He murmured, “Why?”

“My boyfriend,” Ryan answered, tightly.

“Oh!” Jeremy squeaked behind him, “W-We can tell the others??”

Ryan looked back at him with a confused frown. _Yes, why wouldn’t we?_ Jeremy grinned widely at him, tugging his shirt excitedly. Ryan’s face softened into a smile. _Why wouldn’t I want to show you off?_

“I see,” Ray muttered, “The Vagabond is not asexual after all. I’m sure Gavin will be surprised.”

“Gavin already knows,” Jeremy said, poking his head around Ryan’s elbow, “In fact he was sure before I was.”

“You know Gavin?” Ray questioned, eyes wide and voice loud again, “Jack and Gavin, you know all of Fake AH. You work with them?”

“They recruited us,” Jeremy answered, “Me and Vagabond, we’re on the main crew.”

Ray blinked widely, then looked away. 

“How...long have I been here?” He whispered to himself. 

Ryan didn’t know, but based on the wince from Jeremy, it was a distressing amount of time.

“Are they all here?” Ray questioned.

“The main crew, yes,” Jeremy answered, sounding a bit hesitant, “We crashed the yacht on the beach.”

“Yacht,” Ray grunted, “Geoff got the fucking yacht.”

He gripped his head and another short-lived, insane cackle spilled out of him. 

“Take me to them!” He shouted, his insane mirth dying, “I want to see them!”

“Er, it’s about five days south,” Jeremy muttered, “But I guess, sure? I mean, you know the dangers on the mountains, right?”

Ray nodded. Jeremy looked up at Ryan.

“He can tell us what to expect,” he pointed out, “And he knows how to get to the plane. Mission accomplished, technically. We can bring Jack back to look at it.”

“She won’t be able to fix it,” Ray announced, “It’s totally fucking demolished.”

Ryan hummed. 

“Back to the boat plan then?” Jeremy suggested.

Ryan sighed, looking down at his arms. _You should just leave me here to die. I won’t be any use._ Jeremy took his hand gently.

“I can be your hands,” he whispered, “It’s okay. You can just tell me what to do.”

Ryan smiled sadly at him.

“Gay,” Ray grunted, “Let me get my stuff from my burrow!”

He stalked away. The three wolves got up to follow him. Once he was out of earshot, Ryan turned to Jeremy who was looking a bit out of it.

“So that’s what we’re looking forward to,” he mumbled, sounding tired, “I- _we_ need to get the fuck out of this place.”

Ryan hugged him as well as he could. _I’ll do my best._ Jeremy let out a shuddery breath into Ryan’s chest before setting his shoulders and stepping back to break camp. 


	17. Chapter 17

The trip back was much quicker and easier than the trip forward had been on account of having horses to ride. Ryan spent most of his time situated very firmly between Jeremy and the crazy wolf guy. Jeremy spent most of his time appearing very grateful for this. There was something about Ray that seemed to particularly unnerve Jeremy.

Ray, on the other hand, spent all of his time muttering to himself and his wolves or shouting at Ryan and Jeremy. He seemed to think they couldn’t hear him unless he was yelling. The trend of saying what he was thinking continued as well, as though he forgot the ability to think in his head. And of course the insane laughter still happened once in awhile too. 

In one particular instance, he burned his hand and burst into a fit of insane giggles before standing abruptly, face blank as though he hadn’t just been losing it. 

“Fucking Christ,” Jeremy muttered as he watched Ray disappear into the forest, “Don’t let me get like that, please.”

Ryan held his hand gently. _I won’t. I’ll make sure you’re not alone._ Jeremy snuggled into his side and Ryan put his arms around him. 

“I-I’ve been like that before,” he admitted quietly, “I never realized that’s what I looked like. I-It makes sense now why I had to be homeschooled. I must’ve terrified the other kids.”

Ryan held him tightly, ignoring the throbbing in his arms.

“I...was similar,” he mumbled, “Though I...was an adult.”

Jeremy looked up, surprised, then his brow furrowed and he looked thoughtful.

“You’re not like a survivalist or whatever,” he reasoned, “You lived in the wilderness, with your dad.”

Ryan nodded, a bit hesitant. Sharing things about himself made him weak. But...Jeremy had already seen his weakest, there was no point in hiding now. Jeremy smiled sadly.

“Kindred spirits, huh?” He joked lightly.

Ryan smiled, brushing a hand through his hair. He nodded. _Two of similar hearts, finding each other in a world of filth and suffering._ He bumped his forehead against Jeremy’s and rubbed their noses together. Jeremy giggled, rubbing back. 

“Gayyyy!” Ray called out as he rejoined them.

Ryan rolled his eyes and Jeremy flipped him off. 

~

The sun was low on the sky when they got back to the beach. It was getting dark, but they could hear the rest of Fake AH on the boat. Ray suddenly stopped at the tree line, hands twisting. 

“It’s them,” he muttered, “I can hear them. Their laughter. It’s the same.”

He suddenly crouched, burying his face in his knees, holding his arms around his legs.

“I-I can’t do it!” He mumbled, “They won’t like me any more. They’ll think I’m fucking crazy just like those two.”

Ryan winced, feeling a bit guilty. _He noticed..._

“It’s because I _am_ fucking crazy!” Ray cried.

He burst into an insane cackle that quickly dissolved into sobbing. Ryan elbowed Jeremy and gestured at the boat. _Bring the others._ Jeremy nodded and scurried off. Ryan crouched down next to Ray and tapped his shoulder. Ray peeked up at him.

“They care for you,” Ryan assured him, “Even if you _are_ crazy.”

He looked down, suddenly blinking away his own tears. 

“They’re family,” He whispered, “No matter what.”

“I thought you were mute?” Ray sniffled.

Ryan snorted as he urged him back to his feet.

_”I_ never said that,” he argued.

“Yeah, that’s the exact point, dumbass,” Ray snorted, “...thank you.”

Ryan ruffled his shaggy hair. _You’re gonna be alright, buddy._

“V~!” Gavin called out a split second before he glomped Ryan, “Tell me about the dinosaurs!!”

Ryan hissed as Gavin grabbed his arms.

“Gavin!” Jeremy snapped, grabbing his collar and yanking him away, “He’s injured, you fucking asshole!”

“Oh, no!” Gavin cried, “Are you alright?! I’m so sorry!”

Ryan groaned miserably. Jeremy was by his side, rubbing his shoulder anxiously.

“Maybe we have pain killers on the boat?” He suggested. 

“Did you drag us out here just for Vagabond?” Jack grumbled.

_Just for Vagabond?_ Ryan harrumphed. _Rude._

“No, I dragged you out here for this,” Jeremy answered.

Ryan turned to reveal Ray who was doing a great job at hiding behind him. 

“Yo.”

“X-Ray?!” Gavin screeched.

He slammed into him, sending them both to the ground. 

“Vav, you’re crushing me!” Ray wheezed.

“You’re alive!” Gavin sobbed.

“Is it...really him?” Geoff muttered, “Gavin move, we can’t see him.”

Gavin got up and Jack came over to haul Ray up off the ground. She dragged him into the dying light and they swarmed around him. He started touching Gavin, running his hands over his sides and squeezing his hips. Gavin just watched in baffled silence as Ray felt him up. He patted over Gavin’s face.

“He’s here,” he mumbled, “He’s real.”

His hands moved through Gavin’s hair and he suddenly mashed his face against his. Gavin squawked in surprise as Ray kissed him urgently. Gavin wobbled as he pulled away.

“Oh,” he huffed breathlessly.

Ray patted over his shoulders and arms before moving on to touch Michael’s face.

“You, uh, gonna kiss me too?” Michael questioned as Ray touched him.

“Is Michael gay?” Ray asked himself.

Michael blinked at him owlishly.

“He thinks out loud,” Jeremy whispered, “He doesn’t know we can hear him.”

“I do?” Ray muttered, “Oh, I do. My mouth’s moving again.”

He let out one of his insane cackles as he squished Michael’s face. 

“Michael, are you gay?” He shouted at him.

“Um, sort of?” Michael answered, muffled around Ray’s hands on his face, “Why are you shouting?”

“Am I shouting?” Ray asked loudly, “Oh, I am.”

Fake AH glanced at each other nervously. Ray poked at Michael’s chest and ran his hands over his ribs before he pulled him forward to deliver another urgent, bruising kiss. Then he turned to Geoff who ducked back, putting his hands up.

“Whoa, there, cowboy,” He grunted, “I’ll take a pass on the kissing.”

“Why would I kiss Geoff?” Ray wondered, patting at his shoulders and down his arms.

“Well, now I feel insulted,” Geoff grumbled. 

Ray patted his chest and poked at his belly before returning his hands to his face. He tugged Geoff’s mustache and Geoff winced.

“Adding injury to insult?” He huffed.

Ray laughed. Not one of the insane ones, just his normal laugh and Ryan remembered again that it sounded familiar. _I must’ve worked with him before._ Ray moved to Jack who smacked his hands away when he tried to feel her chest. 

“Ray!” She huffed.

Ray blinked at her.

“Right, female,” He muttered, “Different.”

He poked her stomach and felt her arms before touching her face.

“No hair,” he commented as he rubbed his hands over her jaw, “Female.”

“Stop calling me that!” Jack snapped, “I’m a woman!”

“Woman,” Ray repeated, “Not like the animals.”

“I should say not!” Jack grumbled.

“I forgot about humans,” Ray grunted, “When did I forget?”

He looked around at them all and suddenly backed away, looking alarmed. 

“So many,” he mumbled, pressing his hands to his head, “Outnumbered. Retreat is the best chance of survival.”

He moved back quicker and Ryan’s heart ached. He was looking in a mirror. This was exactly what happened the first time Ryan tried to go into civilization. Outnumbered was literally the word he’d used. He moved around the others and stepped toward Ray. Ray’s eyes darted between them. He started to turn, but Ryan snatched his wrist, grunting in pain.

“Look at me, Ray!” He shouted, as Ray struggled.

Ray looked at him, startled.

“They can’t outnumber you, Ray,” Ryan assured him firmly, “They’re your pack. You don’t retreat from allies.”

Ray’s face flooded with a fresh wave of tears and he let Ryan pull him into a hug. 

“It’s okay, buddy,” he whispered, “We’re not alone any more.”

“N-No reason to l-lie,” Ray sobbed, “M-Must be t-telling th-the truth.”

Ryan held him tightly, ignoring the pain in his arms. After Ray calmed down some, he turned him over to Gavin and looked around frantically for Jeremy who was by his side before he could fully panic. Ryan dropped his head onto Jeremy’s shoulder, exhausted.

“You’re alright, baby, I’ve got you,” Jeremy soothed, putting his arms around him.

“Pain,” Ryan rasped, “Help.”

“Geoff, do we have any painkillers?” Jeremy grunted, “Both his arms are broken.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Geoff hissed, “V, you must be in a terrible amount of pain! Yeah, we have some. Let’s see if we can hoist him onto the boat so he doesn’t have to sleep on the ground again.”

After quite a bit of struggling and knot-tying, they got Ryan onto the boat and into his room. 

“Can’t believe you could talk this whole time,” Geoff snorted as he rewrapped Ryan’s splints, “Asshole letting us think you were mute.”

“Those sentences just now were the fullest I’ve heard yet!” Jeremy piped up cheerfully, “I’ll get you reciting sonnets for me soon enough.”

He grinned as Ryan laughed weakly. 

“Farewell, thou art too dear for my possessing-“ He recited, tiredly, “And like enough-“

“Don’t recite 87!” Jeremy snapped, interrupting, “Unacceptable! You are good enough! Stop doubting yourself!”

Ryan stared at him in shock a moment. Geoff cleared his throat.

“I, uh, gotta get his other arm,” he muttered awkwardly.

Jeremy switched places with him, glaring at the wall, face pink. When Geoff was finished, he put the extra painkillers down on Ryan’s nightstand and beat a hasty retreat. Jeremy fidgeted, tugging at the frayed end of his shirt.

“I...I’m sorry for yelling,” he mumbled, “But I’m...I love you. Whatever you think of yourself, I...I like you how you are.”

He rubbed roughly at his tears.

“How many gazers mightst thou lead away,” he recited quietly, “If thou wouldst use the strength of all thy state?”

He held Ryan’s hand gently in both of his.

“But do not so; I love thee in such sort,” He murmured, “As thou being mine, mine is thy good report.”

He pressed his lips to Ryan’s knuckles, eyes closing.

“Please, understand,” he whispered.

Ryan twisted his hand to cup Jeremy’s cheek. 

“As an unperfect actor on the stage,” he whispered, “Who with his fear is put besides his part-

“Or some fierce thing replete with too much rage-

“Whose strength’s abundance weakens his own heart;

“So I, for fear of trust, forget to say-

“The perfect ceremony of love’s right.”

Jeremy leaned into his palm, placing his hand over Ryan’s.

“Are you saying you struggle to express how much you love me, Vagabond?” He teased, grinning.

Ryan blushed darkly, looking away. _What’s the point in speaking in sonnets if you’re just gonna embarrass me anyway?_

“I don’t have to move the mask to see you’re blushing,” Jeremy laughed.

“Hmph.”

Ryan rolled over, facing away from him. _Rude!_ Jeremy laughed as he crawled up behind him. He pulled the mask down and kissed his ear.

“O, learn to read what silent love hath writ,” he murmured, “To hear with eyes belongs to love’s fine wit.”

He put his arm around Ryan’s waist and pressed closely to him. Ryan felt safe and exhausted. And very warm.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: non-recreational drug use, “high” behavior

Ryan woke up to a call for a family meeting that he and Jeremy sluggishly attended. Ryan stiffened as someone he did and didn’t recognize was in the meeting room. Ray looked like a whole other person with his hair and beard cut down to a more tame, even length. Plus he was wearing regular clothes, borrowed from Michael, Ryan thought. Mostly anyway.

The purple hoodie was his and Ryan was surprised to see he was still wearing it after so many years. Well, it may have been a different one, but the shade was the same. Ryan approached where Ray was sitting between Michael and Gavin. He wondered if Ray would recognize him, if he even remembered. Ray looked up as Ryan stopped in front of him and crouched down, pulling down the mask. Of course back then he still went by-

“James?!” Ray gasped, reaching out to grab his face, “James?!” 

“Junior,” Ryan returned.

“That’s right,” Ray mumbled, rubbing his hands over Ryan’s face, “I went by Junior, I forgot. James is the fucking Vagabond. And his stutter is gone.”

Ryan went pink at that. Yes, he recalled struggling with speech very vividly. Ray held out his hand and Ryan took it. They squeezed their palms together before linking thumbs and pushing their fingers outward, wiggling them like two wings of the same bird. Then they clasped hands and brought up their free ones to clasp over top the previous and they pulled close each other close by their clasped hands, foreheads bumping together as they laughed. 

“I can’t believe we remembered,” Ray chuckled, “Fluid. Like it was  just yesterday.”

“Er, you guys know each other?” Gavin spoke up.

“James and I spent a year together in a...facility I guess,” Ray explained, again loud, “Pretty awful place, but we became friends and that made it easier. How much longer did you stay there after I left?”

“Two years,” Ryan mumbled.

Ray let go of his hands to pull him into a hug.

“Fucking Christ, I’m so sorry!” He cried, “That must’ve been fucking awful!”

_It was._ Ryan shrugged. He buried his face in Ray’s shoulder. What are the odds that they would find each other again? Crazy. There was one more detail about the nature of their relationship that he was a little anxious about.

“Does he remember we had sex?” Ray wondered.

Ryan stiffened as did the lads. _Damnit, Ray._

“I...said that out loud, didn’t I?” Ray mumbled.

Ryan nodded against his shoulder.

“Heh, oops?” Ray offered nervously.

“Okay, that’s enough hugging!” Jeremy announced, pulling on Ryan’s collar, “I don’t care if it’s in the past, but I do care about if it’s in the present!”

“It’s not!” Ryan quickly assured him.

“Definitely not,” Ray agreed.

“Good!” Gavin huffed, putting his arms around Ray, “This one’s mine.”

Ray blushed and Michael snorted.

“The hell am I, chopped liver?” He grumbled.

“No, you’re also mine!” Gavin answered cheerfully.

He slid onto Ray’s lap, putting his legs over Michael’s. Ryan stood up as the three of them all shuffled closer. Ryan and Jeremy took the seats across from them.

“Prettier than I remember,” Ray mumbled as he put his arms around Gavin’s waist, “Do we have to do this meeting right now?”

His face snuggled into Gavin’s neck.

“Wanna do him instead,” he added.

Gavin choked, face going brilliantly red. Ryan and Jeremy snorted, trying to stifle laughter. 

“R-Ray! You’re talking out loud again!” Gavin hissed.

“Oops.”

Ryan put his head on Jeremy’s shoulder as he watched the three of them. _Family. A real one._ One that gave a shit if he lived or died. One that gave him amazing painkillers too, his arms were practically numb at that point. He was feeling a bit loopy now, so the morning dose must be kicking in at full force. 

“Alright, assholes,” Geoff grumbled as he and Jack entered the room, “Time for the family meeting, if you’re all done banging each other.”

Gavin covered Ray’s mouth to prevent him from thinking something embarrassing out loud.

“So J, what happened to Vagabond’s arms?” Geoff grunted as he sat down.

Jeremy told the epic (only slightly embellished) tale of Ryan fighting the T. Rex. Gavin was scribbling away furiously as Jeremy recalled the whole journey after they split up. 

“Killer shot, V,” Michael praised.

Ryan laughed harder than necessary at that one.

“And then we met Ray,” Jeremy concluded.

“Jesus, that’s crazy,” Jack muttered, “What a weird normal we have now. Killing T. Rex and taming animals. We’re going full wild out here.”

Jeremy squeezed Ryan’s hand tightly. Ryan put his arms around his waist and pulled him closer. He rubbed his face over Jeremy’s heart. Jeremy rubbed his shoulder blade soothingly as Ryan all but nestled into him.

“The fuck did you give him, Geoff?” Jack murmured.

“Vicodin.”

Ryan giggled into Jeremy’s chest.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jack muttered, exasperated, “Anyway, Ray, tell us about the plane you saw.”

Ray moved his hand from his mouth where he’d been keeping himself from thinking out loud.

“It crash landed,” He answered curtly.

“What kind of shape is it in?” Jack pressed, “Can I fix it?”

“No, it was in bad shape before the plane birds got ahold of it,” Ray dismissed.

“Plane birds?” Gavin prompted, looking up from his notebook.

“Right, they don’t know that,” Ray muttered before talking louder, “There are these huge fucking dinos, I mean massive. The size of small planes. They’re flyers too. Anyway, they-“

“Oh my god!” Gavin interrupted, “Are they Quetzalcoatlus?!”

“Quetza-?” Ray mumbled.

“No way!” Jack interrupted, “They’re one of the biggest flyers ever discovered! Small plane is right! They’re huge!”

Ryan nodded enthusiastically against Jeremy’s chest.

“Alright, nerds,” Geoff cut in, “Doesn’t help us. Ray, what did they do to the plane?”

“Destroyed it,” Ray grunted, “They got these big, long beaks they used to pick the plane apart, looking for food. Or I think that’s what they were doing. They ate the dead people anyway.”

“Okay, so back to the boat then,” Geoff sighed, “We’ll be delayed while Vagabond heals, but hopefully we can push forward anyway.”

“We should just fly,” Ryan grumbled.

“Yes, well we don’t have wings,” Geoff pointed out dryly.

“We don’t need wings,” Ryan laughed, “We just need the plane.”

“It’s dest-Why am I arguing with the guy high off his ass??” Geoff huffed.

“Noooo!” Ryan whined, shooting him a glare, “The bird planes.”

He made a swooping gesture with his hand with a little whooshing sound. 

“Holy shit!” Jack exclaimed, “He’s actually onto something!” 

Ryan giggled.

“The Quetzalcoatlus are massive,” Jack explained, “They could carry one of us! Pretty easily too, I imagine.”

“Oh shit, we could literally fly out of here!” Michael exclaimed.

“As long as we can tame one,” Gavin agreed, “They’re dangerous though, we’ll have to be careful. Those beaks could spear right through us.”

“Ha! Leave that to me!” Jeremy announced, voice smug, “I’m great at taming the aggressive ones.”

“Must be why you got Vagabond,” Geoff snorted.

“Ryan!” Ryan grumbled, “Why aren’t they calling me that, Jeremy?”

“Uh, they didn’t know, Ry,” Jeremy replied, patting his head, “Jesus, you’re so high right now.”

“Hey can you do what you did before?” Ryan requested, “With your mouth I mean.”

Jeremy blushed crimson.

“Ryan!” 

“They finally did it!” Gavin cheered, “Told you he wasn’t ace!”

“About fucking time,” Michael snorted. 

Later Ryan would be extremely grateful that Ray had covered his own mouth again. This way no thoughts on how Ryan bottomed were added to the conversation. At the time though all he could think was that he loved Vicodin and Jeremy was cute when he blushed. 

~

After a long day of making plans and sobering up from the Vicodin, Ryan swore off the drug. He didn’t like being in pain, but he hated being high more. He _really_ hated how embarrassing he’d been. Luckily none of the others mentioned it and he was glad none of what he said or did was being repeated back to him. 

Well, there was one thing he said while high that he was extremely grateful for when Jeremy pressed him down into his bed. _Maybe I should get high again after all,_ he thought as Jeremy’s head bobbed between his legs. He bit his lip and stifled a moan. Honesty appeared to be the best policy in this case. 


	19. Chapter 19

The Fake AH Crew went back and forth over the discussion of who all should go to get the Quetzalcoatlus. Obviously Jeremy and Ray both were going. Jeremy needed to wrangle the beast and Ray knew the snow region.

Gavin of course wanted to “go see the dinos”. Michael again insisted if Gavin went, he was going, but he wouldn’t be happy about it. Jack volunteered to go, admitting she mostly wanted to see the Quetzalcoatlus, but that she could see if there were any parts on the plane she could salvage. Ryan nearly broke out in hives at the idea of Jeremy going to fight a giant bird without him and of course insisted he should also go. 

No one else agreed with this except for Ray. Everyone thought his injuries would hinder instead of help, but Ray insisted they needed him. 

“Need I remind you, he’s the only fucker among us who killed a fucking _Rex?”_ He pointed out, “We go against the plane birds, we need our best fighter in case shit goes South.”

“Jeremy’s already going?” Ryan grunted, confused.

Jeremy sputtered and blushed next to him. 

“No idiot, _you_ are our best fighter,” Ray snorted, “Besides, even if _he_ was, he will be busy trying to lasso the damn thing.”

_**I’m** our best fighter??_

“He’s got a point,” Jack muttered reluctantly, “These things are seriously massive. I think all hands on deck would be a wise move.”

“Well, we don’t really _need_ anyone to hold down the fort,” Geoff reasoned, “So unless anyone has any more suggestions or complaints, Fake AH is heading out together.”

“We’ll be a herd,” Ryan pointed out, “Attract attention.”

“We can always toss Gavin to the predators,” Geoff countered, “While the rest of us get away.”

“Hey!”

“Seconded,” Michael grumbled.

“Micool~!”

So there they were, seven morons, a baker’s dozen of carnivores, and a handful of herbivores, trekking across the island. 

“I’m so sad you can’t draw, V, er, Ry,” Gavin lamented, “Do the Dilophosauruses have frills?”

“No.”

“Did the Rex have feathers?”

“Yes.”

“How many Gallimimuses were there?”

“Six.”

“Did Rex die from the first hit?”

“No.”

“Did you see its mate or its kids?”

“No.”

“Did you have sex with Jeremy?”

“Yes.”

“Ha! Told you, boi!” Gavin exclaimed, “It wasn’t just a blowjob!”

Ryan covered his eyes. _Lord have mercy._

“Hey, you walked into that one,” Jeremy snorted, “You should’ve known better.”

_You should also be embarrassed, you little shit._ Ryan leaned toward him to speak in his ear.

“Fun sized,” he reminded him.

Jeremy went bright red.

“Sh-Shut up!” He huffed.

Ryan grinned widely and Jeremy glared at him. 

“Asshole!”

“Careful, I could eat you in one bite,” Ryan teased.

Jeremy glared at him the rest of the day, though he seemed pleased when nighttime rolled around and Ryan pushed him down on the sleeping bag. He covered his mouth with both hands to not be heard by the others. A muffled whimper of a moan managed to sneak past as Ryan demonstrated that he could in fact take all of Jeremy in one mouthful.

~

Ryan would be a very big liar if he said he was totally confident in Jeremy’s plan. Especially as they crept up on the sleeping Quetzalcoatlus. Somehow it seemed even bigger than the fossils, despite not actually being so. Something about it being alive, he supposed. 

The plan was to put a net over it to stop it from fighting or flying off. Then Jeremy was going to wrangle the thing and stuff the knockout berries in it while attempting to avoid the vicious beak. Then as it was too sleepy to fight, he’d feed it the fish they’d caught. 

It seemed like a fairly straight forward plan. But there were so many factors that could go wrong. 

What if the rest of the Fakes couldn’t tie the net down before it woke up? What if it broke right through the net? What if they didn’t have enough berries to make it sleepy? What if its beak stabbed Jeremy or whacked him hard enough to hurt him? What if it managed to snap the beak shut on his hand or arm and he lost it? What if feeding it the fish doesn’t work? What if a second Quetzalcoatlus or any number of dangerous dinos suddenly appeared?

_At least they agreed to listen to me if I call it off._ Michael suddenly jumped next to him, bumping into him. Ryan looked down at him in concern. He was staring at the Quetzalcoatlus with wide eyes, flinching every time it moved. It shifted a wing and he suddenly grabbed Ryan’s hand tightly. A lightbulb turned on in Ryan’s head.

He hated the _dodos._ He hadn’t wanted to go further in the _forest._ He didn’t like the raptors being _feathered._ And now he was utterly terrified of the _Quetzalcoatlus._

_Ornithophobia,_ Ryan’s brain helpfully provided. _Michael’s afraid of birds._

He was trembling terribly next to Ryan and Ryan recalled his insistence on being paired with him. _He wants me to protect him._ Ryan squeezed his hand, rubbing a thumb over his knuckles before releasing him as they got in position. Ryan held their corner of the net up, ignoring the pain in his arms as Michael drove the stake into the ground. 

Jack and Gavin mirrored them over on the other side of the bird’s shoulders. Geoff and Ray held up the back ends while Jeremy drove in their stakes. Then he scurried over to his position at the head of the beast. Before he could give the signal, Michael’s ornithophobia got them in trouble. 

Actually, _Ryan_ heard the bird first. The fluttering of feathers behind him was as loud as trumpets in his ears. _Shit. Not now!_ He shifted, trying to put himself between the wings and Michael as quietly as he could, but the bird had no reason to move slowly like Ryan did. It shot out from the trees and Michael shrieked, throwing his arms over his head.

The Quetzalcoatlus woke up, screeching and Michael let out a primal scream of terror, falling backwards as he tried to get away from it. 

“Now!” Jeremy shouted.

Ryan, Jack, Ray, and Geoff dropped to tie off the corners of the nets. Unfortunately, Michael bumped Ryan again and Ryan’s drop went off balance into more of a fall to the side. He cried out as he caught himself on his arm, pain shooting through him all the way up to his jaw. 

The Quetzalcoatlus fought, of course, sending more jolts of pain through Ryan as he tried to keep a hold on the net. He could feel his broken bones moving as he struggled. Luckily, Gavin skidded to his side, seizing the net and helping yank it down. _Unluckily,_ no one else could help because the ties weren’t enough to keep the net down, meaning they all had to help hold their own corners. 

Ryan sobbed in pain as he and Gavin struggled to keep their corner down. Ryan shook with the effort of holding on. _I can’t do it! It hurts! Help me please!_ He cried out, his hold loosening. His boots skidded forward in the dirt.

“It’s okay, Ry!” Gavin called, “Lil’ J is going to get it, just hang on a little longer!”

“I-I can’t!” Ryan sobbed.

Suddenly the net yanked as a third pair of hands joined theirs.

“M-Maybe not,” Michael sniffled, “But _we_ can.”

He was crying as bad as Ryan, shaking with how afraid he was. But he was _there._ The Quetzalcoatlus’ struggling slowed and died down completely and they were able to get the stake tied off. Ryan wavered, vision fading and fainted.

He awoke in a haze some time later to an argument. He frowned as he blinked his eyes open, trying to focus on the loud voices.

“-care! I will die here with him rather than leave without him!”

_ Jeremy? _

“You’re not leaving!” Geoff snapped, “You’re going for help! And we’ll all still be here!”

“No! I’m not going!” Jeremy insisted, “I can’t leave him!”

Ryan tried to fight through the haze to grasp what was being said.

“Jeremy, this is what’s best for him,” Jack spoke up, calmer than the others.

“How the hell would _you_ know?!” Jeremy shrieked at her, “How could any of you possibly know what’s best for him?!”

“Hey, I’ve known him longer than you!” Ray grumbled.

“No, _you_ left him!” Jeremy snarled, “You’re probably part of the fucking problem!”

_Was he?_ Ryan wondered sluggishly.

“Jeremy!” Gavin squawked.

“Watch it, Dooley!” Michael growled.

“No! None of you c-can possibly understand!” Jeremy cried, voice cracking, “I can’t leave him! I-I promised!”

“Jeremy?” Ryan called, voice rough.

The tent zipper ripped open and Jeremy hurried to his side. 

“Ryan, I’m here,” He assured, voice weak, “I’ve got you.”

He held Ryan’s hand and caressed his cheek gently. 

“Why...yelling?” Ryan mumbled tiredly.

“I...th-they want me to take the bird,” Jeremy spoke quietly, “And go get help...but there’s only room for one. I-I...would have to leave you.”

Panic shot through Ryan’s hazy senses. _No! Please!_ He weakly tried to squeeze tighter to Jeremy’s hand.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Jeremy soothed, brushing his hand through Ryan’s hair, “I won’t do it. I won’t leave you.”

He leaned over and kissed him lightly. 

“I won’t abandon you,” He whispered, voice thick with tears, “We’ll never have to be alone again.”

He laid his forehead against Ryan’s. Ryan’s groggy mind focused suddenly. _No...he has to go. It’s the only way we’ll get out of here with my arms broken to bits like this._ Ryan’s face pulled into a pained scowl. It hurt every part of him to say it, but he knew he had to.

“No...you have to,” he mumbled, “You have to save us...we- _I_ need you to go.”

Jeremy broke into sobs, holding Ryan’s face.

“I-I can’t!” He sobbed, “Wh-What if y-you’re not here when I g-get back?! What if y-you leave me?!”

Ryan tried to lift his shattered arms and couldn’t make them move. 

“If you don’t see me,” He rasped, “I promise I’ll be back soon.”

Jeremy choked, twisting to bury his face in Ryan’s shoulder. 

“O-Okay,” he choked out, muffled, _“Okay!_ I-I’ll...I’ll go!”

Ryan smiled faintly.

“I love you,” He whispered.

“I-I love you, t-too!” Jeremy sniffled, lifting back up, “I-I promise you, I will be back! I-I won’t leave y-you permanently!”

“I...trust you,” Ryan breathed, fresh tears pouring from his eyes, “I trust you.”

Jeremy’s mouth opened in a look of surprised disbelief. He leaned forward and kissed Ryan firmly. He rested his forehead against his once again.

“I trust you,” he returned.

These three words meant more than all the other words in the world possibly could. More than “I love you”, more than “I promise”, more than “I do”. “I trust you” was a seal, a pact, and a promise. They would willingly open up their hearts to each other. They would willingly be weak and laid bare, willingly risk it all, because they knew the other would never hurt them. Trust was something much harder to give than love, but they had earned it and now that they had it, they would _never_ let go.


	20. Chapter 20

Ryan was in a haze of drugs and pain. They weren’t going to move him at first, but it became apparent he was never going to get out of the haze unless he could get a good nights sleep. Geoff insisted on him remaining immobile, which was actually good for him because half the time he wasn’t sure his legs still functioned.

He cried for Jeremy a lot. They had to keep reminding him Jeremy couldn’t come to the phone right now. Calls for his father were also not going through. But calls for Junior were connecting. Unfortunately some other asshole was the one answering. He didn’t know how to do the handshake. Or maybe it was Ryan who didn’t. 

Someone also kept apologizing when no one else was around. Ryan couldn’t understand why. He thought maybe they had no reason to apologize, but he didn’t know how to communicate that. He tried to say no, but it didn’t appear to be getting through as the apologizing didn’t stop.

He had bouts of clarity, he thought, wherein he could remember why. But then his brain would go muddy again and he would lose whatever he’d gained. _Why why why._ It tickled his mind. There was an important why, but he couldn’t think of it. The tickling made him laugh, which usually caused someone to say curse words. 

When he wasn’t in the the daze of drugs, the daze of pain occupied him. Like partners in crime, they bounced Ryan back and forth between them. When he was in pain, things were very sharp and real, but only if they were his body or touching his body. Everything outside that was a fog of gray.

He couldn’t think things in these times either. Nothing but “please make it stop” and “I’m sorry, I’ll be better”. Usually if he thought these enough, the pain in his arms and leg would subside as the drugs took over again. These moments were usually accompanied by crying, his and he thought someone else’s, but wasn’t sure.

The third part was the dreams. If he wasn’t being batted back and forth between pain and drugs, he was having awful dreams. They were horrible anxiety dreams like he got when he first joined society. They usually seemed like memories of his father at first, but then they all dissolved into a surreal world where Ryan couldn’t physically feel anything but the cold sweat he woke up with. 

Emotionally they were all heavy with anxiety and fear. Often he wasn’t sure why. It seemed like there was no source for it. The dream could be a totally inane memory of eating a meal with his father, but anxiety would bear down on him, causing the experience to be laden with uncertainty and fear. Like something bad was happening, but he couldn’t see what. And he always woke feeling like something bad had happened, even if he never saw it.

“Jeremy,” Ryan rasped as he woke up, “Please.”

“I’m sorry, buddy. I...we should’ve tried to send someone else.”

“Dad?” Ryan murmured, “Geoff?”

He hazily tried to focus on the voice. The owner leaned over him, blue eyes filled with surprise and worry.

“I’m here, buddy,” he assured him, “What do you need?”

“Why?” Ryan wondered.

“Er, why what?” Geoff grunted. 

“Pain...leg...why.”

“Oh, lord, you don’t remember,” Geoff mumbled, “You, uh, passed out after the bird stopped fighting and just as Jeremy finished, as the net was going off, you just suddenly sat up and screamed. For some reason you got up and ran for it, screaming bloody murder. We thought maybe it was shock or something. Anyway, you ran right into this dino that bit your leg before we could get to it. You’re a damn fast runner. And uh...it’s venom or poison or some shit, I don’t know exactly.”

Geoff shifted and Ryan grabbed his arm as his focus snapped into view.

“Get it off,” he pleaded, “Dad, please! I can feel it creeping! Cut it off! Please!”

“It _is_ spreading, I knew it!” Geoff hissed, “Damnit. This is...not a good idea, Ryan. If I cut your leg off, you could lose too much blood. You could die...though you might die if it spreads far enough... damnit. Can you feel how far?”

“Past knee,” Ryan croaked, “It burns. It’s eating me! Help me, please!”

“Ryan, I...okay,” Geoff muttered, “Okay. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.”

He gently touched Ryan’s forehead. 

“It’s okay, buddy,” he assured him quietly, “I’ve got you.”

Ryan’s arm dropped from him.

“I...don’t wanna die,” He murmured tiredly.

“You’re not gonna die,” Geoff dismissed, “We’re going to save you.”

“Dad...I promised...Jeremy,” Ryan whispered as his eyelids grew too heavy to keep open, “Have to...stay.”

“You will,” Geoff assured, “You’re not dying on my watch.”

Ryan’s lips twitched into a smile before he faded into sleep. 

~

Ryan woke up as he was being restrained. 

“N-No, I didn’t do an-anything!” He cried, “Please! I-I can’t-“

“James, it’s alright, you’re not there.”

“J-Junior?” Ryan mumbled tearfully.

“Yeah, I’m right here,” Junior answered, his face appearing in Ryan’s hazy vision, “We’re not in Hell any more, buddy. We’re with our family, remember? Fake AH.”

“Jeremy,” Ryan pleaded.

“He’s not here right now,” Ray sighed, “Listen, bud, do you remember talking to Geoff?”

Ryan blinked, trying to focus.

“Dad’s gonna help,” he mumbled, swaying.

“That’s right, buddy,” Ray confirmed, “We have to pin you down so he can help you.”

“Okay,” Ryan sniffled, “J-Jeremy, please.”

“Hey, what if we take you to Jeremy’s bed?” Gavin piped up, appearing above him, “Would you like that?”

Ryan nodded miserably. He was lifted and he whimpered, trying to squeeze whoever’s hand was in his. He was losing focus, but it snapped back when he could smell Jeremy. He turned his head, rubbing his face into the pillow with Jeremy’s scent. 

“We’re gonna restrain you now, Ryan,” Geoff’s voice called softly, “This is going to hurt a lot. I tried to give you drugs, but it’ll only take the edge off. This will still be agonizing.”

“Pen,” Ryan rasped.

He was given a pen and helped to sitting. He sloppily drew a line on his thigh where the burning had crept to. He was laid back down and he tried to relax his anxiety as hands tied him down to the bed. He laughed as the good drugs kicked in and he floated.

“Alright, that’s it,” Geoff grunted, “Gavin, you may wanna face the wall.”

“R-Right.”

Geoff’s hand clamped down on Ryan’s knee and something cold touched his thigh. Ryan jolted then grunted as he was cut into, his struggling focus narrowing to the cut. His body completely tightened and he groaned through clenched teeth as tears squeezed their way out of his tightly closed eyes. He strained against the bindings as pain pulsed from his leg. He turned his head into the pillow to breathe in Jeremy’s scent as he shook and sobbed in pain. 

“What did I do?” He cried, “I’m sorry!”

“You didn’t do anything!” Gavin screeched next to him, “You’re not being punished, Ryan!”

His hand brushed Ryan’s sweaty hair from his face. Ryan’s eyes cracked open and Gavin’s big puppy eyes were crying. Ryan’s heart squeezed.

“No...d-don’t cry,” Ryan mumbled around his own tears, “W-We can...s-see the dinos.”

Gavin choked, leaning over him to bump their foreheads together. 

“You are an idiot!” He sobbed.

Ryan had just enough time to think “rude” before pain shot up through his bone and he screamed. He ripped through the restraints on his arms and tried to lift up, but hands pushed him back down. He let out screaming sobs as he fought against them. 

He lost his strength quickly, his struggling weakening as the pain passed through his bone back into his flesh. He wavered as the pain dulled slightly, less pulsating, sharp pain, more hot throbbing. It was the same, but different. The hands started to pull away and he whimpered.

“Don’t...leave me,” He rasped weakly.

“We won’t, Ry,” Gavin’s voice assured him, “We’ve got you.”

Ryan slipped fitfully into sleep, his consciousness fading in and out.

“Where?!” Jeremy’s voice shrieked.

Ryan groaned, weakly trying to move toward him. 

_ Bang! _

Ryan tried to reach for where the door had slammed open. 

“Jeremy,” he croaked.

“Ryan! I’m here!” Jeremy cried, rushing to his side, “Oh god, th-they took your leg!” 

He dropped over him, burying his face in Ryan’s shoulder. Ryan tried to get his arm around him.

“I-I told them not to!” He huffed.

“Had to,” Ryan mumbled. 

“I’m so sorry it took so long!” Jeremy sobbed.

“H-How long?” Ryan wondered.

“N-Nine days,” Jeremy murmured miserably, “I had to get back and find a way to hide the damn bird. We should go, you need a hospital!”

He lifted his head up.

“Guys, in here, hurry up!” He shouted at the open door.

Ryan gripped at his hand weakly.

“Please.”

Jeremy looked back at him, brushing his hair from his face.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered, “We’re going back together, Ryan.”

Ryan relaxed, a smile spreading on his face. 

“Of course, together,” he breathed, “The Battle Buddies never part.”

He struggled a moment, pulling Jeremy’s hand to his heart.

“Not permanently.”

Jeremy leaned down and they kissed as their people flooded the room. Jeremy didn’t let go of his hand for more than a few seconds at a time as they hauled Ryan into a helicopter. 

**Six Months Later**

Ryan squeezed Jeremy’s hand as the island came into view. Ryan was ready to abort the mission, but Jeremy squeezed back, giving him a reassuring smile. Ryan puffed out a breath and set his shoulders. It was okay. 

They couldn’t find themselves stranded any more. Communications were up, they had presence all over the place, and there was always the Quetzalcoatlus if the inventions of man failed. It was okay. 

“Ry, we can abort if you want,” Jeremy assured him gently, “You... ended up the most hurt of all of us, it’s okay if you’re not ready.”

Ryan smiled. As long as Jeremy’s with me, nothing can possibly be all that bad. 

“Nah, I promised Gav I’d come see the nursery,” He dismissed lightly, “He said he got a color mutation he really wants me to see.”

“Why does he not just take pictures?” Jeremy grumbled.

“No evidence, remember?” Ryan grunted.

“Geoff is being a bit of a tight-ass about this,” Jeremy muttered.

“I can hear you!” Geoff shouted into their coms.

“Good, tight-ass!” Jeremy fired back, “Shouldn’t we be letting scientists come here?!”

“I’m not having this debate with you again, shortstop!” Geoff snapped.

“Mankind could benefit-!” Jeremy started to argue.

“Shut the hell up!” Jack interrupted from the pilot seat, “I can’t hear the tower if you two dumb fucks are arguing so damn loudly!”

“We could toss them out,” Ray suggested.

“It would take all of us to get the brick shithouse out,” Michael snorted. 

“Rude!” Jeremy grumbled.

“What’re you talking about?” Jack scoffed, “All we need is Ry. Right, Ry?”

“What’s that supposed to mean??” Jeremy demanded.

“Hey, Jeremy?” Ryan called softly.

Jeremy whipped his head around to face him, grabbing one of his hands.

“Yes? What is it?” He asked.

Ryan slid open the door of the helicopter.

“Can you step out for me?” He requested.

“Okay, Ry.”

Jeremy went for the door and Ryan gripped his collar to haul him back and close the door. Jeremy blushed furiously.

“Y-You tricked me!” He shrieked, whacking Ryan’s arm.

“It’s not my fault you’re so obedient,” Ryan laughed.

“What happened to silent Ryan??” Jeremy demanded, “I miss him!”

Ryan laughed as he pulled him into his lap, carefully putting him on the real leg. Jeremy glared at him and Ryan just grinned. 

“Alright, we’re taking her down,” Jack announced.

They landed smoothly and Ryan only stumbled a little on his way out. Gavin rushed towards him, launching into a flying hug that almost sent Ryan tumbling. Ryan held him closely, chuckling lightly.

“It’s only been a few months, buddy,” he teased.

“Yeah.”

Ryan brushed a hand through his hair. Gavin had taken up residency on the island not too long after they got back. He’d been appointed director of the island project, dedicating all his time to it. Ryan had been avoiding coming back, though the others came and went frequently. 

“Anyway!” Gavin announced, after a few minutes of silent hugging, “Welcome back to the Untouched Isle, Ry!”

“That’s what you’re calling it?” Ryan snorted, ruffling his hair, “It’s pretty touched now, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s like you before and after Jeremy,” Michael joked.

Ryan blushed as the others snorted, trying to stifle laughter.

“Guess I’m fucking chopped liver,” Ray grumbled, “Can we go? I’m fucking starving.”

He put his arm around Gavin’s waist and kissed his cheek. Ryan looked out over the island as the others started for the base on the mountain. His arms seemed to ache and his sore thigh throbbed. Jeremy’s hand slipped into his and he smiled up at Ryan. Ryan’s pains faded a bit as they followed the others and he smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end again! Next up is the king Ryan au I’ve been working on. If you wanna learn how to donate and get the chapters a day early go follow me @1stworldmutant and read my pinned post.   
> Anyway, as always, may your paths stay lit, little stars~✨!


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